These are in no certain order and I always think of more things to add to this.....So, enjoy.
1) Sing at an Iowa Mens Basketball game in Carver Hawkeye Arena - DONE (November 8th, 2009)
2) Perform on a stage broadway in NYC
3) Sing the National Anthem at a NASCAR race
4) Be a performer at Disney World
5) Go on a cruise to Alaska (or wherever!)
6) Snorkle in the Great Barrier Reef
7) Get married
8) Skydive/bungee jump
9) Take a train to Alaska/through the mountains
10) Kayak with the whales
11) Audition for WICKED the musical
12) Stay with an Indian Tribe for a summer
13) Work in the Peace Corps for a year
14) Own my own palm tree!
15) Own a condo along the beach
16) Live in Florida
17) Spend a year in New York City
18) Go to New Years Eve in New York City to see the ball drop
19) Go to France to see my Great Grandpas grave from WWII
20) Bring my Grandma to France to see her dads grave before she dies
21) Bring my Grandma to Washington DC to see the WWII memorial
22) Stay at the Atlantis hotel in the bahamas
23) Find something no ones ever discovered before (I have this thing that I want to actually find Atlantis haha. Crazy, I know)
24) Go to the moon
25) Take a submarine and see the actual Titanic
26) Own a tiger...and a monkey
27) Stop living paycheck to paycheck
28) Do voice over work for an animation film
29) Be a photographer for a wedding -DONE-August 28th, 2010
30) Learn how to play guitar
31) Have my own perfume
32) Buy a professional camera so I can start up photography-DONE
33) Audition for Disney - DONE (Chicago 2006 roughly)
34) Get a callback for a broadway musical or tour
35) Learn the "Thriller" dance- DONE
36) Sleep along the beach
37) Edit a "real" music video or come up with the concept at least
38) Make my own music video representing ME as the singer
39) Be in a famous parade
40) Walk a redcarpet
41) Be a model in Fashion Week - DONE (Though Id perfer New York Fashion Week, I was a runway model for Fashion Week Iowa in 2007 I think it was)
42) Be in a magazine- DONE- Hoopla Magazine, July Edition
43) Meet Oprah & Tyra Banks
44) Sing with Rascal Flatts
45) Build and design my own house
46) Have a child
47) Be a godparent - DONE (My sister, McKenna Grace. 2008)
48) Have an amazingly cute proposal to where I cry ;)
49) Kiss in front of Cinderella's Castle at Disney
50) Swim with the dolphins
51) Be a marine life trainer
52) Touch a whale's tongue (think Free Willy)
53) Go deep sea fishing
54) Own a jetski
55) Go rock climbing up a mountain
56) Be a makeup artist on a movie set or real theatre production
57) Get my dad in a tux lol!
58) Audition for Disney World AT Disney World
59) Get a sleeve tattoo'd
60) Start my own charity for suicide prevention
61) Dig for dino bones
62) Be on a reality show
63) Be on a talk show
64) Host Saturday Night Live-Or at least be in a skit on SNL
65) Ride in a cab
66) Ride the subway
67) Sing on the radio - DONE (Not an original song or anything which would be ideal, but when I sang the National Anthem at the Iowa Mens Basketball game on 11/08/09 I was featured on the radio before the game!!)
68) Sing somewhere famous - DONE (Carver Hawkeye Arena. 11/08/09)
69) Sing on LIVE tv
70) Sing in a talent convention - DONE (Orlando, FL 2003)
71) Act/model in a talent convention
72) Be a promotional model - DONE (Ive worked for Action! out of California)
73) Do a PSA - DONE (Did a public service announcement for depression/suicide awareness)
74) Write my own song and record it
75) Record a demo CD
76) Meet my inspirations/Idols, Rascal Flatts - DONE (Jan of 09 and August of 09)
77) Experience falling in love - Done
78) Save someone -Done (My suicide awareness video. I have had numorous people tell me its stopped them from commiting suicide and that is truely amazing to me. Over 35,000 views and counting on youtube!)
79) Be in a Lady Gaga music video
80) Walk the catwalk in the New York Fashion Week tents
81) Go back to school
82) Audition for American Idol83)
Hold the golden ticket for American Idol (in other words, make it to Hollywood) and be able to call my family up crying my eyes out because I made it
84) Become a grandparent
85) Go whale watching
86) Go go NYC -Done (May 2006)
87) See an actual broadway musical, ON broadway - DONE (Wicked, NYC, May 2006)
88) Become an actual runway model even though I am way too short
89) Be on America's Next Top Model
90) Be on American Idol
91) Have an interview with a famous show host (ie: Ryan Seacrest, Lance Smith, etc)- DONE (Lance Smith, host of CMT, September 2010)
92) Move out of state - DONE (JULY 2010)
93) Photograph someone famous (as in be their photographer)
94) Be a model in a famous photography shoot
95) Own my own photography studio
96) Become a makeup artist
97) Become a cosmotologist
98) Start up my own fashion line
99) Go to an actual NASCAR race - DONE (August 2006, Michigan Speedway)
100) Go to a real NFL game
101) Pay off all my debts and for once be free from debt
102) Meet Johnny Depp
103) Have Kat Von D tattoo me
104) Be IN the musical WICKED
105) Be in a musical on broadway in NYC
106) Have VIP with a celebrity -DONE (Brody Jenny, 2009, Bootlegger, Milwaukee, WI)
107) Go on a celebrity tour bus -DONE (Blake Shelton invited me on his bus to drink with him in Moline, IL, also giving me and my friend free tickets to him and Martina Mcbride that night)
108) Take singing lessons from a "belter" (ie: Carrie Underwood, Idina Menzel, Martina Mcbride, Eden Espinosa, Megan Hilty, Heart, etc)
109) Get my mom backstage to meet Bon Jovi
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Carpe Noctem
(Seize the night)
So Im all settled into the new apt in Milwaukee. I have to say, I do love it here, just sucks that I don't have a job yet. I find myself quite bored quite often with Shane working his two jobs daily. I feel like a stay at home mom with 2 kids, meaning the 2 kitties we have running around. Mine, and the new addition as of last night, shane's new kitty, which right now is tearing apart a feather toy and cant figure out how to get the feather out of her mouth......
I had a few job interviews so far, all of which seemed interested but I havent gotten a call back from any yet. Im really hoping for this spa job that I recently had an interview with. Seems abouot perfect for me.....so keep your fingers crossed for a call back from them!!
I debated going out and sitting on the roof to write this, but as usual, Im a lazy pile and didn't feel like walking all the way up there.
Milwaukee's good though, I really like it. Ive always liked visiting Shane up here, but never really thought Id be living here one day....Im proud of myself though I must say, I finally made it out of Iowa. Kinda surreal to think about....even though its only a state away, it's still a step. I lve the big city, I dont think Im meant for small town living. I love it to a point and Ill always be the small town country girl that I am but Im not meant for it thats for damn sure.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate my aunt for letting me live with her this past year. She's helped me SO much and I honestly can't even describe how thankful I am for it and for her. When I packed up all my stuff and started putting it in the truck to move up here, she told me if it didn't work up here my room there would always be there....and as corny as it was, it made me tear up. I just really appreciate people being like that towards me....I don't get hospitality like that a lot, so I guess it's just nice. Makes me feel worth a little something anyway.
So this new addition, yep...new kitty :) She's adorable, but looks a little too much like my cat haha. I think its funny cuz Im already mixing them up. We haven't 100% come up with a name yet for her so any options are well appreciated if you send them my way ;) hint hint....I posted a photo earlier on twitter of her if you need/want to see what she looks like. She's not a "kitten" persay anymore, shes 1 year old, but she was only $25 to adopt so it was one of those things where we were like, dude, $25....get her. She's REALLY sweet too..Something Im definetly NOT use to all the time with my bi-polar pysco cat. Which speaking of her, she hates this new kitty...but imagine that right? Her hating something? Who woulda thunk it....
So i really should put more stuff away in the apt, we have boxes still everywhere lol, but I really have no ambition too. I am yet again a lazy pile.... my excuse is there's no where to put everything yet...because mainly the boxes I have left are stuff that should go on shelves, and we don't have any shelves, therefor I cant put it up now can I?! We hung pictures and stuff up the other day though so thats out of the way, now I just need to invest in one big book shelf, or a bunch of wall hanging shelves........this is why I need a job.
I really do miss my old job, the people there were beyond amazing, and the atmosphere was perfect for a job....It was great, and I miss it...ALOT. But what can ya do, right? Ya gotta move on sometime....
In other news, Shane and I decided to check out the casino here in Milwaukee when we were bored one day....very random trip over there, we spent like $40 between the 2 of us and I won Shane $100 on a lucky spin haha, so it was a good trip :) Went out last night to "Dinner With The Schmucks" which was a pretty funny movie I must say....AND we went to a movie tehatre that had a bar in it and let you drink IN the theatre while watching the movie....Im sorry, But I thought that was quite AMAZING! Anyway, I had a lot of fun last night doing that, I love date nights :))
I don't really know much else that has been going on lately....I need more friends up here I think haha! Or you old friends of mine need to get your butt up here to visit ;)!
I guess that's it :)
-Megan
So Im all settled into the new apt in Milwaukee. I have to say, I do love it here, just sucks that I don't have a job yet. I find myself quite bored quite often with Shane working his two jobs daily. I feel like a stay at home mom with 2 kids, meaning the 2 kitties we have running around. Mine, and the new addition as of last night, shane's new kitty, which right now is tearing apart a feather toy and cant figure out how to get the feather out of her mouth......
I had a few job interviews so far, all of which seemed interested but I havent gotten a call back from any yet. Im really hoping for this spa job that I recently had an interview with. Seems abouot perfect for me.....so keep your fingers crossed for a call back from them!!
I debated going out and sitting on the roof to write this, but as usual, Im a lazy pile and didn't feel like walking all the way up there.
Milwaukee's good though, I really like it. Ive always liked visiting Shane up here, but never really thought Id be living here one day....Im proud of myself though I must say, I finally made it out of Iowa. Kinda surreal to think about....even though its only a state away, it's still a step. I lve the big city, I dont think Im meant for small town living. I love it to a point and Ill always be the small town country girl that I am but Im not meant for it thats for damn sure.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate my aunt for letting me live with her this past year. She's helped me SO much and I honestly can't even describe how thankful I am for it and for her. When I packed up all my stuff and started putting it in the truck to move up here, she told me if it didn't work up here my room there would always be there....and as corny as it was, it made me tear up. I just really appreciate people being like that towards me....I don't get hospitality like that a lot, so I guess it's just nice. Makes me feel worth a little something anyway.
So this new addition, yep...new kitty :) She's adorable, but looks a little too much like my cat haha. I think its funny cuz Im already mixing them up. We haven't 100% come up with a name yet for her so any options are well appreciated if you send them my way ;) hint hint....I posted a photo earlier on twitter of her if you need/want to see what she looks like. She's not a "kitten" persay anymore, shes 1 year old, but she was only $25 to adopt so it was one of those things where we were like, dude, $25....get her. She's REALLY sweet too..Something Im definetly NOT use to all the time with my bi-polar pysco cat. Which speaking of her, she hates this new kitty...but imagine that right? Her hating something? Who woulda thunk it....
So i really should put more stuff away in the apt, we have boxes still everywhere lol, but I really have no ambition too. I am yet again a lazy pile.... my excuse is there's no where to put everything yet...because mainly the boxes I have left are stuff that should go on shelves, and we don't have any shelves, therefor I cant put it up now can I?! We hung pictures and stuff up the other day though so thats out of the way, now I just need to invest in one big book shelf, or a bunch of wall hanging shelves........this is why I need a job.
I really do miss my old job, the people there were beyond amazing, and the atmosphere was perfect for a job....It was great, and I miss it...ALOT. But what can ya do, right? Ya gotta move on sometime....
In other news, Shane and I decided to check out the casino here in Milwaukee when we were bored one day....very random trip over there, we spent like $40 between the 2 of us and I won Shane $100 on a lucky spin haha, so it was a good trip :) Went out last night to "Dinner With The Schmucks" which was a pretty funny movie I must say....AND we went to a movie tehatre that had a bar in it and let you drink IN the theatre while watching the movie....Im sorry, But I thought that was quite AMAZING! Anyway, I had a lot of fun last night doing that, I love date nights :))
I don't really know much else that has been going on lately....I need more friends up here I think haha! Or you old friends of mine need to get your butt up here to visit ;)!
I guess that's it :)
-Megan
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
NEWS!!
So Ive taken the step (giant leap) and decided to move...out of state...FINALLY! Ive been saying since I was in 3rd grade that I wanted to move out of state and I always said the day I graduated I was OUT OF HERE! Well graduation came and went and now its been almost 5 years ago and Im STILL stuck in Iowa.....so this is it, not quite the "Florida" I wanted to originally move to (which could potentially happen), but its still out of state and Im happy for the move. Its a big step but its not TOO far from home, which I think will be good. That way if need be, I can get home in about 4 hours. Im moving to Milwaukee, WI to be with my boyfriend. Sounds silly, but you don't know my position and you don't know how desperate I have been to get out of Iowa. So before anyone starts saying it's a stupid idea, just don't. Its actually what I want to do and Im quite proud of myself for FINALLY having the nerve to move away.
In other news, I officially booked my first magazine spread!!! I dont know if youd really count it but I def am and I am very excited about it!!! My shoot is tomorow morning so you'll hear all about it soon enough!!!
One more thing.....American Idol. My oh-so insistant mother is making me audition for American Idol...ok ok I kinda want to as well haha! Well anyways its in 7 days.....EEK! I still am trying to figure out what to sing, I think I have an idea but who knows...I tend to change my mind a lot lol
In other news, I officially booked my first magazine spread!!! I dont know if youd really count it but I def am and I am very excited about it!!! My shoot is tomorow morning so you'll hear all about it soon enough!!!
One more thing.....American Idol. My oh-so insistant mother is making me audition for American Idol...ok ok I kinda want to as well haha! Well anyways its in 7 days.....EEK! I still am trying to figure out what to sing, I think I have an idea but who knows...I tend to change my mind a lot lol
Monday, June 21, 2010
Milwaukee...
So a couple new things about the above title...
Numero Uno- Milwaukee is hosting American Idol auditions in a few weeks. I am debating on going...but hmmmmm what to sing, give me options people!!!!
Numero Two-o- Im contimplating moving to Milwaukee, transfering to possibly a hotel up there. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE my job, a lot actually, first time I think Ive ever said that....but I can't find ANYWHERE to live around here thats priced decent and in a good neighborhood. Ive looked at apartments online in Milwaukee and theyre realitively decent priced and in good neighborhoods......decisions decisions... :( I really hate to leave my job though. Either way I need to decide soon, or find SOMEPLACE to live here, because the drive for me is getting REALLY old driving to work 45 minutes a day for work. What are your guys' opinions?
Numero Uno- Milwaukee is hosting American Idol auditions in a few weeks. I am debating on going...but hmmmmm what to sing, give me options people!!!!
Numero Two-o- Im contimplating moving to Milwaukee, transfering to possibly a hotel up there. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE my job, a lot actually, first time I think Ive ever said that....but I can't find ANYWHERE to live around here thats priced decent and in a good neighborhood. Ive looked at apartments online in Milwaukee and theyre realitively decent priced and in good neighborhoods......decisions decisions... :( I really hate to leave my job though. Either way I need to decide soon, or find SOMEPLACE to live here, because the drive for me is getting REALLY old driving to work 45 minutes a day for work. What are your guys' opinions?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Have an issue? I suggest you talk to ME
Its come to my attention that people are very stupid and very jealous....
Jealous of stuff they shouldn't even be jealous about....
Number 1, if you are going to hate one me, do NOT hate on my work and something I work hard for....
Number 2, I understand my work isn't "amazing" (im talking about my photography), but I work extremely hard to make my clients happy, and they ARE happy with the photos I take of them, therefor do not critique me like some people have been. Those "some people" are "aquaintenses" of mine, whome I no longer care to say I "know" them.
I understand anything a person does will be critiqued at some point but the stuff these people were saying was just plain rude and unnecessary. Like I said, I know my work isn't perfect, nor do I intend it to be, BUT that gives you NO right to act the way you have just because you hate me and always have. Which kinda makes me wonder why you hate me anyways lol. Its extremely childish to me but whatever, I'll just feel the same towards you, no harm done.
People, Im not really a "hateful" person unless you do something to me that I can't forgive you for. I know forgiveness is key in life, but theres some things I personally dont even want to forgive people for because it was their stupidity that it happened in the first place....Im kind of venturing out now and not just talking about my photography, but you get my point.
Anyways, thats all I really wanted to say. I guess, in closing, if you have beef with me, take it up to ME, don't go through my photos and photography to try and piss me off......you succeeded but you also succeeded in making yourself look like a complete and totaly fucking moron. End.Of.Story.....
Oh one more thing....not dealing with my photography work, but everything else....STOP THINKING YOUR SMART, GOING BEHIND MY BACK AND TALKING ABOUT ME. You are clearly obsessed with stalking me and its getting way too old even for me to handle. Its pathetic....and YOU think IM a horrible person lmao....keep thinkin that sweetie, itll get you real far in life. Your "friends" arent really your "friends" if they are constantly telling me what you talk to them about are they?! LoL.....You got another thing comin honey, and it aint gunna be pretty when it does.......take that exactly how you want it........ You wanna say shit about me and talk down about me, spreading more lies and ruining a rep that I work extremely hard for? You keep it up, and youll see how far it goes........ Take a step back and realise who the shitty person is here...... THE.END
Jealous of stuff they shouldn't even be jealous about....
Number 1, if you are going to hate one me, do NOT hate on my work and something I work hard for....
Number 2, I understand my work isn't "amazing" (im talking about my photography), but I work extremely hard to make my clients happy, and they ARE happy with the photos I take of them, therefor do not critique me like some people have been. Those "some people" are "aquaintenses" of mine, whome I no longer care to say I "know" them.
I understand anything a person does will be critiqued at some point but the stuff these people were saying was just plain rude and unnecessary. Like I said, I know my work isn't perfect, nor do I intend it to be, BUT that gives you NO right to act the way you have just because you hate me and always have. Which kinda makes me wonder why you hate me anyways lol. Its extremely childish to me but whatever, I'll just feel the same towards you, no harm done.
People, Im not really a "hateful" person unless you do something to me that I can't forgive you for. I know forgiveness is key in life, but theres some things I personally dont even want to forgive people for because it was their stupidity that it happened in the first place....Im kind of venturing out now and not just talking about my photography, but you get my point.
Anyways, thats all I really wanted to say. I guess, in closing, if you have beef with me, take it up to ME, don't go through my photos and photography to try and piss me off......you succeeded but you also succeeded in making yourself look like a complete and totaly fucking moron. End.Of.Story.....
Oh one more thing....not dealing with my photography work, but everything else....STOP THINKING YOUR SMART, GOING BEHIND MY BACK AND TALKING ABOUT ME. You are clearly obsessed with stalking me and its getting way too old even for me to handle. Its pathetic....and YOU think IM a horrible person lmao....keep thinkin that sweetie, itll get you real far in life. Your "friends" arent really your "friends" if they are constantly telling me what you talk to them about are they?! LoL.....You got another thing comin honey, and it aint gunna be pretty when it does.......take that exactly how you want it........ You wanna say shit about me and talk down about me, spreading more lies and ruining a rep that I work extremely hard for? You keep it up, and youll see how far it goes........ Take a step back and realise who the shitty person is here...... THE.END
Thursday, May 27, 2010
What is bothering me.... (yet another venting session)
What is bothering me....
1) I have no money....every ounce of every paycheck goes to bills....I barely have money for gas to get to work. A 2nd job would be great but I'll admit it, I don't do well without time to myself, so a 2nd job and me really don't mix. I know, horrible to say but Im just being honest. I love LOVE my job right now but it sucks to drive to everyday when its 45 minutes away. I could get an apartment there but that would be using more money every month that I don't have. Right now I have way too many bills, and Im getting behind on way too many of my loans......so moral of the story, is my credit is fucked for life and I still have no money
2) I feel highly guilty about something right now even though Im not sure that I should feel this way. I feel like I took something away from someone that they'll never get back, and though I know it wasn't all ME, it feels like it right now, and it's been stressing me out lately HARDCORE. Im not easy to please I guess, if it's not one thing it's another, if it's not one way, the other way will probably hurt too....
3) Im highly unmotivated. I hate this feeling but I get this way a lot. Yes, Im a lazy piece of shit, Ill give that to you, I wish I could do more, but stress/emotions/depression, it's all there and never allows me to be me, 'nuff said.
4) Im anxious for certain things to happen right now. Certain things that I cant get in to on here, but I feel like they won't happen. Its hard to explain without getting in to detail and in order to tell you, id have to kill you, so Im just gunna leave it at that........................
5) I miss him. I miss him HORRIBLY. Hes 4 hours away and when I need him he can't be here and when he needs me, I can't be there for him.......It really sucks. This again goes along with having no money......
6) I want my own place. Im tired of living under someone's roof. Its easy, I admit, I love it here, but I feel sheltered and Im not a person who handles that very well. I just can't afford anything right now.
7) I need to get famous, fast. Its my dream obviously...i just continue to feel like im losing it, day by day...minute by minute. I feel it all always slipping away....what to do? I dont know, again I have no money to persue anything or move anywhere to start something
8) I want to go back to school...I really do...BUT there's too many things I WANT to do and hmm...you guessed it...no moneeyyyyyy. ugh.....
I guess they all kinda tie in with no money don't they? Anyway, thats all I wanted to vent about I think.
Im just highly stressed right now, and I probably shouldn't be...BUT i am.
End.Of.Story.
Megan
1) I have no money....every ounce of every paycheck goes to bills....I barely have money for gas to get to work. A 2nd job would be great but I'll admit it, I don't do well without time to myself, so a 2nd job and me really don't mix. I know, horrible to say but Im just being honest. I love LOVE my job right now but it sucks to drive to everyday when its 45 minutes away. I could get an apartment there but that would be using more money every month that I don't have. Right now I have way too many bills, and Im getting behind on way too many of my loans......so moral of the story, is my credit is fucked for life and I still have no money
2) I feel highly guilty about something right now even though Im not sure that I should feel this way. I feel like I took something away from someone that they'll never get back, and though I know it wasn't all ME, it feels like it right now, and it's been stressing me out lately HARDCORE. Im not easy to please I guess, if it's not one thing it's another, if it's not one way, the other way will probably hurt too....
3) Im highly unmotivated. I hate this feeling but I get this way a lot. Yes, Im a lazy piece of shit, Ill give that to you, I wish I could do more, but stress/emotions/depression, it's all there and never allows me to be me, 'nuff said.
4) Im anxious for certain things to happen right now. Certain things that I cant get in to on here, but I feel like they won't happen. Its hard to explain without getting in to detail and in order to tell you, id have to kill you, so Im just gunna leave it at that........................
5) I miss him. I miss him HORRIBLY. Hes 4 hours away and when I need him he can't be here and when he needs me, I can't be there for him.......It really sucks. This again goes along with having no money......
6) I want my own place. Im tired of living under someone's roof. Its easy, I admit, I love it here, but I feel sheltered and Im not a person who handles that very well. I just can't afford anything right now.
7) I need to get famous, fast. Its my dream obviously...i just continue to feel like im losing it, day by day...minute by minute. I feel it all always slipping away....what to do? I dont know, again I have no money to persue anything or move anywhere to start something
8) I want to go back to school...I really do...BUT there's too many things I WANT to do and hmm...you guessed it...no moneeyyyyyy. ugh.....
I guess they all kinda tie in with no money don't they? Anyway, thats all I wanted to vent about I think.
Im just highly stressed right now, and I probably shouldn't be...BUT i am.
End.Of.Story.
Megan
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Venting Session....be advised, you probably will not understand
NEWS: (Before I start to lash out on a venting session)
Please go follow mine and Shane's new photography company on twitter- www.twitter.com/studioCphotos and on facebook- www.facebook.com/studio.c.photos
I got a new professional camera so Im really starting to get into, or at least hoping to get into photography more. Anyone need photos? Im willing to try anything! Check the facebook page for rates and information. Im very cheap, contact me ;)
Without naming any "names", Im sure this will be pretty obvious who this is directed to, but I need to vent, and lately I havent felt strong enough to vent to an actual person. Maybe fear of what they'll tell me. I dont know. Sometimes I just would rather let it all out, without any harsh opinions on their part, without them judging me, etc. It's easier this way.
Numero-Uno venting session: How do you help someone without being bias? Its extremely hard in my case...Im trying my best to help this person but all I feel like Im telling them is what I personally want to happen....which in most cases isnt the case. Im trying to help them from the outside looking in, but when its something dealing with ME, its quite hard to give an opinion without them or anyone else for that matter thinking Im only being bias and only telling them ONE thing because I want that ONE thing to happen.....Which def is true, I do want that one thing to happen, BUT that doesnt mean that's what I am ultimately trying to do here. I know this is all confusing to those of you who have NO idea whats going on, so humor me...Im only venting, usually that, for me, means you probably won't understand unless its something dealing with you.
Numero-Two-o venting session: Deals actually with the 1st venting session, but Im going to give it it's own category.......Summer 2010 will be the death of me. Im already starting to feel it and unfortunatly it's hitting me way harder than I thought....and he hasn't even left yet. Im sure by now you're understanding who this is about huh? Oh well....so be it....again, Im just venting, don't hate. Let me put this into perspective for anyone caring to read this.......If any of you knew me a year ago or whenever, youd understand I was not a "happy" person. I was diagnosed with severe depression from some stuff that's happened to me in the past 15 years. I was to the point where I didn't want to live, I didn't want anything to do with anyone, I wasn't confident with myself, I wasn't happy with myself, I hated life, and I hated me. Now....fast forward to this past year. I have been the happiest I think Ive ever been in my ENTIRE life...yes folks, its weird, I know. Despite a few speed bumps, Ive never smiled like I have this past year, Ive never had continueous butterflies like I have this past year, Ive never felt loved like I have this past year, and Ive never been truely happy with life and where I was at...until this past year. Now....Im sure you know the reasoning behind this "new found happiness".....and if you do, put that in your mind....and think where you would be if it happened to you. Then, take it all away...for the entire summer. That, folks, is how I feel right now. Im happy..but I feel it'll all be gone soon enough because of him leaving. I know, Im sort of childish when it comes to this, and I know most of you, if not all of you, are going to just say "It'll be ok, he'll be back", "It's only 1 summer", "Nothing will change between you and him", blah blah blah.....the list goes on. But you're not in my shoes, and your not experienceing or feeling the feelings I have. Im hardcore emotionally stressed out because of this...........Id go into further detail but I dont want to let a lot of this out into the open, it's really personal for me right now. I just need "closure" I guess. I need to figure out what is going on so I can sleep at night, even if that means it'll hurt me. Granted, I wont be able to sleep at night if it does end up that way but still...you get the point. I wish I had the answers for this summer, and I wish I could figure everything out for him...and for me. I wish I could be a better shoulder for him, and I wish I knew which way for him to go so he'd be happy. I dont know what else to do at this point. When Im not keeping myself busy, all I do is think about it...and then I get in bummed out moods like this, and write stupid blogs in which no one cares to read. Im just really hurting on this situation, and have been for a couple weeks now. I dont know what to do, he doesn't know what to do....im confused, he's confused. Where does it end. How do you know the "right" thing to do in these situations. I wish I knew......
I seriously pray every night for a miracle to happen but for some reason I don't think itll happen :( and to be honest, that really does hurt. But I can do nothing but support him in whatever happens.....and of course that's what I will do. I just wish things were easier for us right now :/
Please go follow mine and Shane's new photography company on twitter- www.twitter.com/studioCphotos and on facebook- www.facebook.com/studio.c.photos
I got a new professional camera so Im really starting to get into, or at least hoping to get into photography more. Anyone need photos? Im willing to try anything! Check the facebook page for rates and information. Im very cheap, contact me ;)
Without naming any "names", Im sure this will be pretty obvious who this is directed to, but I need to vent, and lately I havent felt strong enough to vent to an actual person. Maybe fear of what they'll tell me. I dont know. Sometimes I just would rather let it all out, without any harsh opinions on their part, without them judging me, etc. It's easier this way.
Numero-Uno venting session: How do you help someone without being bias? Its extremely hard in my case...Im trying my best to help this person but all I feel like Im telling them is what I personally want to happen....which in most cases isnt the case. Im trying to help them from the outside looking in, but when its something dealing with ME, its quite hard to give an opinion without them or anyone else for that matter thinking Im only being bias and only telling them ONE thing because I want that ONE thing to happen.....Which def is true, I do want that one thing to happen, BUT that doesnt mean that's what I am ultimately trying to do here. I know this is all confusing to those of you who have NO idea whats going on, so humor me...Im only venting, usually that, for me, means you probably won't understand unless its something dealing with you.
Numero-Two-o venting session: Deals actually with the 1st venting session, but Im going to give it it's own category.......Summer 2010 will be the death of me. Im already starting to feel it and unfortunatly it's hitting me way harder than I thought....and he hasn't even left yet. Im sure by now you're understanding who this is about huh? Oh well....so be it....again, Im just venting, don't hate. Let me put this into perspective for anyone caring to read this.......If any of you knew me a year ago or whenever, youd understand I was not a "happy" person. I was diagnosed with severe depression from some stuff that's happened to me in the past 15 years. I was to the point where I didn't want to live, I didn't want anything to do with anyone, I wasn't confident with myself, I wasn't happy with myself, I hated life, and I hated me. Now....fast forward to this past year. I have been the happiest I think Ive ever been in my ENTIRE life...yes folks, its weird, I know. Despite a few speed bumps, Ive never smiled like I have this past year, Ive never had continueous butterflies like I have this past year, Ive never felt loved like I have this past year, and Ive never been truely happy with life and where I was at...until this past year. Now....Im sure you know the reasoning behind this "new found happiness".....and if you do, put that in your mind....and think where you would be if it happened to you. Then, take it all away...for the entire summer. That, folks, is how I feel right now. Im happy..but I feel it'll all be gone soon enough because of him leaving. I know, Im sort of childish when it comes to this, and I know most of you, if not all of you, are going to just say "It'll be ok, he'll be back", "It's only 1 summer", "Nothing will change between you and him", blah blah blah.....the list goes on. But you're not in my shoes, and your not experienceing or feeling the feelings I have. Im hardcore emotionally stressed out because of this...........Id go into further detail but I dont want to let a lot of this out into the open, it's really personal for me right now. I just need "closure" I guess. I need to figure out what is going on so I can sleep at night, even if that means it'll hurt me. Granted, I wont be able to sleep at night if it does end up that way but still...you get the point. I wish I had the answers for this summer, and I wish I could figure everything out for him...and for me. I wish I could be a better shoulder for him, and I wish I knew which way for him to go so he'd be happy. I dont know what else to do at this point. When Im not keeping myself busy, all I do is think about it...and then I get in bummed out moods like this, and write stupid blogs in which no one cares to read. Im just really hurting on this situation, and have been for a couple weeks now. I dont know what to do, he doesn't know what to do....im confused, he's confused. Where does it end. How do you know the "right" thing to do in these situations. I wish I knew......
I seriously pray every night for a miracle to happen but for some reason I don't think itll happen :( and to be honest, that really does hurt. But I can do nothing but support him in whatever happens.....and of course that's what I will do. I just wish things were easier for us right now :/
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
the new face of A.D.D. lmao....
PAUSE...READ THIS BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE!!!! Lol-----Despite what u read below this....I typed ALL this on my blackberry.... It started off on my computer but when the internet wouldn't work I had to use a last resort....------
K now u can read the rest-----
So I'm sitting here with my internet not working (yes I'm typing an entire blog in 'WordPad' before it hits bloggermcom lol!) I've decided I'm in the mood to type. Just like every other time I write a blog.. SO..nothing new there.
I don't really know what I should talk about this time though. I don't really have much to 'vent' about...well,just kidding, I do, but its not anything I really think I should be discussing in here right now. I've done pissed off too many people already ;) I think I just need to learn to keep my mouth shut ^__^
I also don't really have much for 'news' for you guys. I did tho get word today that I have another National Anthem gig so I guess that counts for something,right? RIGHT!!!
Currently my cat is spazzing out because its extremely nice outside and I opened my windows. My cat is and always has been an inside cat so for her to see/hear/feel fresh air is like armageden!!!LOL!!!! No joke....
And to top it, it all of a sudden got reallyyyyyyy windy so she's litterly hissing at the air coming at her.....my cats a moron,what can I say......would you expect anything less to be MY pet?! Didn't think so.....
In ther newsssssss.....started a new job today,thank GOD!! I need the moolah horribly. Actually,horribly is an understatement,my vocabulary just doesn't know any better word for it......
This blog is HIGHLY A.D.D. Isn't it?!!!
OOmiiGEEm...I saw baby kitties in the mall today!!! Like baby babies...tiny baby kitties!!!! And they were amazingly f'ing adorable!!!!! There were 5 and only one was awake and I kept moving my finger around the glass and hed chase it,like topple over all his bro's and sistas and piss them off....CLASSIC!! I recall actually laughing aloud in this situation...don't judge me...........the thought of sticking them all in my purse and running like hell crossed my mind....more than a few times I admit.....but then I realized I'd want all the kitties in there...and the puppies....and even the guinea pigs and rats that were in there for $5. So,in theory,my mediumn sized zebra purse just wasn't going to cut it...also,it wouldn't be so 'incognito'.....actually I just really like that word....IN-NCOG-NITO. Sorry...done.
Another random breaking news story for the day.....not only is it like 95 degrees today,its really windy out and some random piece of my car decided to be cool and melt off...wait,it gets better....driving down the road,it decided to FLY off...but only half way....awesome right?!! I thought so. So its not..well,was...laying in my lawn...I'm sure its hit Chi-town by now...or Tampa at least......it didn't leave me a note telling me where it was going.
1 more news story. I want to gauge my ears. I know, I'm weird. Wanna sue me? Get in line....... I don't want them them to be huge and gross,just something small and cute. End of story. Anddddddd I want another tattoo.....a couple "another tattoos" to be exact. I have a bunch in mind, but I'm litterly running out of room for them all!!!! AHH!!!
so another random side note......I really want to do a pinup girl shoot. Old flapper girl if you will but modernized. You know,with the sleeves of tattoos, old school corsets, painted looking photo....I REALLYYYYYYY want to do a shoot like that. Have for awhile. And I know this is going to sound HIGHLY egotistical of me (not my intention) but I want to do this shoot,take the best shot and make a huge canvas poster of it and hang it on my wall. That era of art is amazing to me and with how people 'modernize' their pinup girl photos now is absolutley stunning to me. I adore it. Its SO beautiful. SOOOO...my logic (hear me out) is this.....since I like it so much,how about I buy a big photo and hang it over my couch or something. Good logic right? Well better yet,since I want the photo AND want to do a shoot of my own anyways like thisNill just take my own photo and do it :) that way,in the process,people can be like wow that's a gorgeous photo and I can be like yep,its me! :)) ok, I sound too high on myself..don't hate me....I promise I'm not haha. . . . . . I just really wanna do that.
Hmmm....what else.....
My hair is no longer bright-ass-red unfortunatly :(( I know....sad day....I really miss it. But it faded really oober fast and bled a lot so I couldn't wear anything but black, which really isn't much of an issue,I'm not emo or anything,I do like black...BUT I also enjoy colors....and white...and red hair dye on white shirt doesn't so much mix. It wasn't workin for me. And waking up to a boyfriend who's shirt is all red after you were laying on his shoulder all night isn't very attractive lol! SO,now its back to dark brown...which I'm sure in time will end up getting dyed black again....my 'no dying hair streak' is definetly GONE!!!! Sorry,but its what I do. My goal is to keep growing my hair out and then dye it all black,lots of layers,and then put a bunch of hot pink pee-a-boos in the back and in the bangs...LOVVVEEEEEE IT!!!!!
One more random side note......no,nevermind,that's not important......
Alright I'm gunna go and TRY to upload this to blogger.com.....but since my internet doesn't work,I don't see how that's actually going to be possible.. :/...hmmmm.....question mark :/.......therefor you may or may not be reading this 5 days after it all actually happened. Welcome to the media world right?
Ok whatever.....haha! BYE!!
xoxo-M
OOOHHHH wait!!!! One more thing!!! DOOOOO NOTTTTTT LEAVEEEE YETTTTT!!!!!!!! I am in the process of shutting down my Myspace for good....long story short,its stupid and pointless. Now,if I could only remember the password for the email address I used for it wed be set.....anywhosers, those of u who had me on there,add me on facebook...or obviously twitter. I talk on both :))
Peace out yoda
www.twitter.com/meganbesler
www.modelmayhem.com/meganbesler
www.facebook.com/officialmeganbesler
K now u can read the rest-----
So I'm sitting here with my internet not working (yes I'm typing an entire blog in 'WordPad' before it hits bloggermcom lol!) I've decided I'm in the mood to type. Just like every other time I write a blog.. SO..nothing new there.
I don't really know what I should talk about this time though. I don't really have much to 'vent' about...well,just kidding, I do, but its not anything I really think I should be discussing in here right now. I've done pissed off too many people already ;) I think I just need to learn to keep my mouth shut ^__^
I also don't really have much for 'news' for you guys. I did tho get word today that I have another National Anthem gig so I guess that counts for something,right? RIGHT!!!
Currently my cat is spazzing out because its extremely nice outside and I opened my windows. My cat is and always has been an inside cat so for her to see/hear/feel fresh air is like armageden!!!LOL!!!! No joke....
And to top it, it all of a sudden got reallyyyyyyy windy so she's litterly hissing at the air coming at her.....my cats a moron,what can I say......would you expect anything less to be MY pet?! Didn't think so.....
In ther newsssssss.....started a new job today,thank GOD!! I need the moolah horribly. Actually,horribly is an understatement,my vocabulary just doesn't know any better word for it......
This blog is HIGHLY A.D.D. Isn't it?!!!
OOmiiGEEm...I saw baby kitties in the mall today!!! Like baby babies...tiny baby kitties!!!! And they were amazingly f'ing adorable!!!!! There were 5 and only one was awake and I kept moving my finger around the glass and hed chase it,like topple over all his bro's and sistas and piss them off....CLASSIC!! I recall actually laughing aloud in this situation...don't judge me...........the thought of sticking them all in my purse and running like hell crossed my mind....more than a few times I admit.....but then I realized I'd want all the kitties in there...and the puppies....and even the guinea pigs and rats that were in there for $5. So,in theory,my mediumn sized zebra purse just wasn't going to cut it...also,it wouldn't be so 'incognito'.....actually I just really like that word....IN-NCOG-NITO. Sorry...done.
Another random breaking news story for the day.....not only is it like 95 degrees today,its really windy out and some random piece of my car decided to be cool and melt off...wait,it gets better....driving down the road,it decided to FLY off...but only half way....awesome right?!! I thought so. So its not..well,was...laying in my lawn...I'm sure its hit Chi-town by now...or Tampa at least......it didn't leave me a note telling me where it was going.
1 more news story. I want to gauge my ears. I know, I'm weird. Wanna sue me? Get in line....... I don't want them them to be huge and gross,just something small and cute. End of story. Anddddddd I want another tattoo.....a couple "another tattoos" to be exact. I have a bunch in mind, but I'm litterly running out of room for them all!!!! AHH!!!
so another random side note......I really want to do a pinup girl shoot. Old flapper girl if you will but modernized. You know,with the sleeves of tattoos, old school corsets, painted looking photo....I REALLYYYYYYY want to do a shoot like that. Have for awhile. And I know this is going to sound HIGHLY egotistical of me (not my intention) but I want to do this shoot,take the best shot and make a huge canvas poster of it and hang it on my wall. That era of art is amazing to me and with how people 'modernize' their pinup girl photos now is absolutley stunning to me. I adore it. Its SO beautiful. SOOOO...my logic (hear me out) is this.....since I like it so much,how about I buy a big photo and hang it over my couch or something. Good logic right? Well better yet,since I want the photo AND want to do a shoot of my own anyways like thisNill just take my own photo and do it :) that way,in the process,people can be like wow that's a gorgeous photo and I can be like yep,its me! :)) ok, I sound too high on myself..don't hate me....I promise I'm not haha. . . . . . I just really wanna do that.
Hmmm....what else.....
My hair is no longer bright-ass-red unfortunatly :(( I know....sad day....I really miss it. But it faded really oober fast and bled a lot so I couldn't wear anything but black, which really isn't much of an issue,I'm not emo or anything,I do like black...BUT I also enjoy colors....and white...and red hair dye on white shirt doesn't so much mix. It wasn't workin for me. And waking up to a boyfriend who's shirt is all red after you were laying on his shoulder all night isn't very attractive lol! SO,now its back to dark brown...which I'm sure in time will end up getting dyed black again....my 'no dying hair streak' is definetly GONE!!!! Sorry,but its what I do. My goal is to keep growing my hair out and then dye it all black,lots of layers,and then put a bunch of hot pink pee-a-boos in the back and in the bangs...LOVVVEEEEEE IT!!!!!
One more random side note......no,nevermind,that's not important......
Alright I'm gunna go and TRY to upload this to blogger.com.....but since my internet doesn't work,I don't see how that's actually going to be possible.. :/...hmmmm.....question mark :/.......therefor you may or may not be reading this 5 days after it all actually happened. Welcome to the media world right?
Ok whatever.....haha! BYE!!
xoxo-M
OOOHHHH wait!!!! One more thing!!! DOOOOO NOTTTTTT LEAVEEEE YETTTTT!!!!!!!! I am in the process of shutting down my Myspace for good....long story short,its stupid and pointless. Now,if I could only remember the password for the email address I used for it wed be set.....anywhosers, those of u who had me on there,add me on facebook...or obviously twitter. I talk on both :))
Peace out yoda
www.twitter.com/meganbesler
www.modelmayhem.com/meganbesler
www.facebook.com/officialmeganbesler
Sunday, April 11, 2010
CONTEST TO GET ME IN EVERY STATE!!!!
The contest is simple, I just need you to hang flyers up of me or pass them out somehow in flyer, business card, brochure, or postcard form.
WE NEED PEOPLE FROM EVERY STATE TO HELP OUT!!!!
In order to make this as big as possible, I am offering a contest. You will get a FREE fanclub membership (level 1 or 2 only) but I will throw in a personalized autograph!!!!
All you have to do is print out my already made flyers (email me and I will email you the flyer itself) or make your own. I have to approve of yours first though, so email me them at officialmeganbesler@hotmail.com
In order to be eligible for the contest:
MUST INCLUDE:
Megan Besler singer/model/actress
www.facebook.com/officialmeganbesler
www.twitter.com/meganbesler
and you also have to send me a photo of the flyers you have printed (i want to make sure your not just printing ONE for the contest, and thats it), a photo of a flyer hanging up, and a photo of you with the flyer.
Once you have all that, please email me!!!! We need at least ONE representer from every state so please tell me what state you are from as well!! :))
THANKS! AND GOODLUCK!
WE NEED PEOPLE FROM EVERY STATE TO HELP OUT!!!!
In order to make this as big as possible, I am offering a contest. You will get a FREE fanclub membership (level 1 or 2 only) but I will throw in a personalized autograph!!!!
All you have to do is print out my already made flyers (email me and I will email you the flyer itself) or make your own. I have to approve of yours first though, so email me them at officialmeganbesler@hotmail.com
In order to be eligible for the contest:
MUST INCLUDE:
Megan Besler singer/model/actress
www.facebook.com/officialmeganbesler
www.twitter.com/meganbesler
and you also have to send me a photo of the flyers you have printed (i want to make sure your not just printing ONE for the contest, and thats it), a photo of a flyer hanging up, and a photo of you with the flyer.
Once you have all that, please email me!!!! We need at least ONE representer from every state so please tell me what state you are from as well!! :))
THANKS! AND GOODLUCK!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sometimes you have to turn them down for them only to want you more
Ok maybe that title isnt the best logic, but I watched Dickie Roberts Childhood Star last night and it was a line in that movie lol...
Anyways, heres my sick self, trying to explain a few things to you guys.
First of all, thank you for the continued support from each and every one of you. Its meant a lot over this past year. (Yes, believe it or not, I started tweeting not even a year ago...) You guys mean a lot to me and I continue to use you guys as a "go-to" so to speak. I love you all.
With all that said, a bunch of you have been asking how my auditions went last week. They went amazing, despite the fact I was hacking out a lung while auditioning. Basically what had happened was the week before the auditions, there was a movie role open, a lead role, because the lead actress quit the day before they were going to start shooting the movie. The person doing all the makeup for the movie asked me if Id be up for it and the producer was highly interested in me. I couldnt do it that weekend unfortunatly, so I was extremely down about it. Butttttt.....then I get a call saying that same producer will be in my town the week later holding auditions for another movie, a movie in which would be my dream role no joke. Well I went to the audition, unfortunatly couldnt sing even though I was suppose to because the lead for that movie is a singer.....yay for being sick right? Well, went to the audition, and he had me read for the new movie "Warm Up" as well as the other movie in which they originally wanted me for where the lead actress quit, movie was called "QTpie". Soooooo I cold read the script for QTpie and read for Warm Up as well. I was instantly offered the lead in QTpie....amazing right? I was actually quite stoked...and I still feel quite honored. I was given a few days to think it over and get back to him. Theyre not done casting for Warm Up yet so though he said hed deff keep me in mind as a lead for Warm Up, theyre not fully finished with everything there so Im kind of keeping my fingers crossed. Here was the issues....
Issue number 1. The movies overlap. Meaning both movies are being filmed roughly at the same time. If I was given both leads, thatd be EXTREMELY hectic on me. Ive never done movies yet so I dont have that "comfort" zone so to speak for one movie let alone two, and going on at the same time. Plus, I wouldn't be able to work my normal job anymore and that would kill me because of the bills I have.
More issues....QTpie is an extremely dark, depressed, sad, emotional role. Like I said before Ive never done movies or film work, let alone anything emotional, so for me to pull this off would be extremely hard. I dont feel talent-wise Im ready for something as serious yet, as to where Warm Up is more in my element. Singing, performing onstage, being in a recording studio, etc. I know QTpie would have helped me grow soooooo much as an actress but I feel if I had more film experience I would hvae been better suited for it. Is this making sense? I have nerves in this being my first movie role, I dont want anything else to be nervous about, like crying on screen, the dark emotional scenes, the racy scenes, etc. Im not fully comfortable with all of that right now....though the movie itself has an outstanding script and tells one hell of a story. Actually, its a true story based on someone here in Iowa, which brings up another reason I was kinda scared to do it. If Im going to do a film based on a true story, Id want to do it justice and not just half-ass it. And I dont think I can do that at my career level right now. I need more experience I think. I know I sound like Im really shutting myself down now, but I feel its for the best. Id love to have taken this role up in a heartbeat and anyone else probably would have but I feel things happen for a reason. It made me open my eyes to everything at least. Now Im just praying Im still in the running for the lead of Warm Up....but hey, if not, I learned a lot from all this. You can't just take everything thrown at you no matter how amazing it seems or is. Some things you just have to bow down and say no to no matter how bad you really would have loved to take it.
I hope this all makes sense, its kinda mumbo-jumbled all together.
Anyways, heres my sick self, trying to explain a few things to you guys.
First of all, thank you for the continued support from each and every one of you. Its meant a lot over this past year. (Yes, believe it or not, I started tweeting not even a year ago...) You guys mean a lot to me and I continue to use you guys as a "go-to" so to speak. I love you all.
With all that said, a bunch of you have been asking how my auditions went last week. They went amazing, despite the fact I was hacking out a lung while auditioning. Basically what had happened was the week before the auditions, there was a movie role open, a lead role, because the lead actress quit the day before they were going to start shooting the movie. The person doing all the makeup for the movie asked me if Id be up for it and the producer was highly interested in me. I couldnt do it that weekend unfortunatly, so I was extremely down about it. Butttttt.....then I get a call saying that same producer will be in my town the week later holding auditions for another movie, a movie in which would be my dream role no joke. Well I went to the audition, unfortunatly couldnt sing even though I was suppose to because the lead for that movie is a singer.....yay for being sick right? Well, went to the audition, and he had me read for the new movie "Warm Up" as well as the other movie in which they originally wanted me for where the lead actress quit, movie was called "QTpie". Soooooo I cold read the script for QTpie and read for Warm Up as well. I was instantly offered the lead in QTpie....amazing right? I was actually quite stoked...and I still feel quite honored. I was given a few days to think it over and get back to him. Theyre not done casting for Warm Up yet so though he said hed deff keep me in mind as a lead for Warm Up, theyre not fully finished with everything there so Im kind of keeping my fingers crossed. Here was the issues....
Issue number 1. The movies overlap. Meaning both movies are being filmed roughly at the same time. If I was given both leads, thatd be EXTREMELY hectic on me. Ive never done movies yet so I dont have that "comfort" zone so to speak for one movie let alone two, and going on at the same time. Plus, I wouldn't be able to work my normal job anymore and that would kill me because of the bills I have.
More issues....QTpie is an extremely dark, depressed, sad, emotional role. Like I said before Ive never done movies or film work, let alone anything emotional, so for me to pull this off would be extremely hard. I dont feel talent-wise Im ready for something as serious yet, as to where Warm Up is more in my element. Singing, performing onstage, being in a recording studio, etc. I know QTpie would have helped me grow soooooo much as an actress but I feel if I had more film experience I would hvae been better suited for it. Is this making sense? I have nerves in this being my first movie role, I dont want anything else to be nervous about, like crying on screen, the dark emotional scenes, the racy scenes, etc. Im not fully comfortable with all of that right now....though the movie itself has an outstanding script and tells one hell of a story. Actually, its a true story based on someone here in Iowa, which brings up another reason I was kinda scared to do it. If Im going to do a film based on a true story, Id want to do it justice and not just half-ass it. And I dont think I can do that at my career level right now. I need more experience I think. I know I sound like Im really shutting myself down now, but I feel its for the best. Id love to have taken this role up in a heartbeat and anyone else probably would have but I feel things happen for a reason. It made me open my eyes to everything at least. Now Im just praying Im still in the running for the lead of Warm Up....but hey, if not, I learned a lot from all this. You can't just take everything thrown at you no matter how amazing it seems or is. Some things you just have to bow down and say no to no matter how bad you really would have loved to take it.
I hope this all makes sense, its kinda mumbo-jumbled all together.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Interview with Megan Besler. SINGER.MODEL.ACTRESS
I was asked to do an interview with a local journalist from Des Moines, IA. Deserae Robbinson. She's doing an article on me for her paper she publishes about fashion, entertainment, nightlife, etc :) IM EXCITED AND HONORED!!!!!
Have you always enjoyed the art of music?
"Yes, always. Ever since I was really little Ive always been singing, dancing, you name it. I know its cliche but whatever, its me!"
Any loves, other then music?
"Modeling, Acting, Photography, Film, Animals, the outdoors, Traveling...you name it!"
Any celeb crushes?
"Joe Don Rooney from Rascal Flatts, Zac Efron, and yes, Ill admit it, Aaron Carter"
If you could have any style wat would it be?
"My own. I portray my own style. I pick bits and pieces up from everything, mix matching them, coming up with something random at times. Or somedays Ill be totally casual and normal, the next I'll be extremely punked out. It depends how what side of the bed I wake up in the morning!"
Fave colour?
"Ive always said blue and black but I have a new love for pink. I actually adore all colors though.Shh dont tell anyone ;)"
Best advice ever given?
"To get rid of all the bad things in my life and all the bad people who were pulling me down and keeping me in the hole I was in. Ever since Ive actually listened and TAKEN that advice my life has been SO much different. Im more confident than I ever have been, Im not afraid to take a stand, Im bluntly honest (which gets me in trouble!) and overal Im just back to being the person I always was"
First song ever sung?
"In general, the only one I can think of was by MYMP, "Ill Never Get Over You Getting Over Me". I totally use to rock out that song when I was like 3 with my mom in my carseat in the car!!! No joke. First LIVE song Ive sung, like alone, other than choir and stuff, probably the National Anthem. Im kind of "known" for that song around my roots"
Secret craving?
"Pickle juice"
Fave food?
"Can I say food in general? Becuase I seriously love too many to name. Its my BFF"
When did you first start singing live shows?
"When I was like 10 maybe? Thats actually a wild guess. I really dont know to be honest. I would guess around that age though. National Anthem singing anyways. Been singin that darn song for years!!"
What did your family do to encourage you?
"My mom's always been a huge pusher to get me to sing. I know I love to sing, and so does everyone else but I think secretly in her mind shes always been like "Megan will be a singer someday". I remember she use to tell me to audition for Star Search when I was really young. Now it's all about American Idol and getting me in at Disney haha. Another huge supporter is my Grandma. She doesnt go any place without being like "Megan sang the National Anthem at the Iowa Basketball game! You should hear her!!". My grandmas a crazy women haha! My entirely my best friend"
Who else in your family sings?
"My mama is a WONDERFUL singer though she doesnt seem to realize it. So is my grandma but she never sings anymore. I actually REALLY enjoy listening to my grandma sing but when she does it in front of me she gets all embarassed. Cute right? My 7 year old sister is really picking up the gene too"
Who are your musical inspirations?
"In general, Rascal Flatts, for a LOT of reasons. Song writing though, Taylor Swift. Vocally, Martina McBride, Carrie Underwood, and Haley from Paramore. And vocally/musical theatre-ish, Eden Espinosa and Megan Hilty. The end."
What kind of music do you listen to today?
"Country mainly but I listen to everything. I know everyone says it but hey, its my answer. If theres a story behind the song Im listening to, Im going to like it. If theres passion and soul behind the lyrics, Im going to love it. Im big into lyrics. So overall, Ill listen to anything."
What embarrassing songs might I find on your MP3 player?
"I dont find them 'embarassing' persay. They are bands I grew up with and still love to jam out to. Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, Aaron Carter....all that junk. I still crank it up and rock it. Oh I also have concert band music on there. I guess that makes me a geek"
Where would you most like to perform?
"National Anthem at the Daytona 500"
Who would you most like to open for?
"Rascal Flatts or Paramore. Depending on what "route" I go with my music"
If you weren't singing, what would you be doing?
"Acting and modeling. Maybe cosmotology or photography. I have a HUGE "to-do" list I like to call it. Also including marine biology"
Do you play any instruments?
"Clarinet. And a little guitar and a little keyboard. I can also carry a drum beat if that counts, and I play a mad cowbell ;)"
If you could dabble in another genre of music, what would it be?
"Blues/Jazz from like the 40's-ish. LOVE that era."
What genre of music can't you stand to listen to?
"If I HAD to pick one itd be rap, but like the gang rap, that I dont like. Rap in general can be good if it's written right"
What hidden talents do you have?
"I have a high pain tolerance? Is that a talent?!"
Do you enjoy writing music and/or lyrics?
"Yes and no. I enjoy it, yes. Am I good at it, no"
What do you think about when your preforming?
"I love looking at people's reactions to me. I dont really know what Im 'thinking' about. I just know its the time of my life, no matter if its me singing the National Anthem for a crowd of 5, me in a musical, or me singing for the super bowl. I love the rush"
What can we expect from you in the future?
"Im working on a demo cd right now. Songs are in the process of getting written. I sing every Thursday on www.thestage.tv (be there!) 10-11pm central time. Its a great site for some great exposure. Let me know if anyones interested, Ill get you hooked up!! Also, Im always doing random modeling/runway events. Im also looking forward to singing the National Anthem more as always, and auditioning for more musicals :)"
Stuff...that about explains it!
STUFF...
new stuff, old stuff, stuff i feel like telling you guys! (actually i just feel like typing, which happens a lot, and usually results in there weird blogs of mine :)! deal with it....!)
so who watches me every Thursday on www.thestage.tv?! awesome!! thanks!! lol, if you have no idea what im talking about, i am a paid performer on this website. www.thestage.tv . I sing on there every thursday night from 10-11pm central time :) i sing for the hour with another guy. PLEASE come in and watch. The more people in there, the bigger the paycheck for me and we all know I need the money right now....
ALSO if you think youd like to give it a try on www.thestage.tv, Im their official recruiter!!! Please contact me if you want to show off your talent!! Its not just for singers either!!!! any comedy act, singer, dancer, EVERYTHING! Your weird and unique talents is what we need!! please contact me through here or officialmeganbesler@hotmail.com and I will get you set up!!! you could be paid to show your talent on there. what have you got to lose?!?!? seriously, email me....NOW!!
Next....I have a photoshoot this coming week...the 11th to be exact. VERY fun. For once, its not a photoshoot that I came up with. It'll be a big actual paid shoot, they contacted me in doing it and im way stoked. Cant wait to show you the final product!!!!!!!!!!!
I also have a runway show in march that I was contacted in doing, way stoked for that as well because the designer wants me in a lady gaga inspired look...SOOOO excited!!!!!!
I dont think I have much else to tell you guys.
you can ask me questions on here.... www.formspring.me/meganbesler :) ask me ANYTHING....beware tho, Im very blunt and overly honest ;)
oh ok , one more thing. website. anyone wanna buy me a domain haha?! jk. i have a new site up www.wix.com/meganbesler/megan :) check it. lemme know what you think! and as always, keep in touch with me, my videos, my modeling, my songs, my weird and messed up life on these following sites :) Cant wait to talk to ya'll. LOVE YOU!!!!! :))
www.wix.com/meganbesler/megan
www.twitter.com/meganbesler
www.facebook.com/officialmeganbesler
www.youtube.com/meganbesler
www.myspace.com/chocolate_814
www.modelmayhem.com/meganbesler
new stuff, old stuff, stuff i feel like telling you guys! (actually i just feel like typing, which happens a lot, and usually results in there weird blogs of mine :)! deal with it....!)
so who watches me every Thursday on www.thestage.tv?! awesome!! thanks!! lol, if you have no idea what im talking about, i am a paid performer on this website. www.thestage.tv . I sing on there every thursday night from 10-11pm central time :) i sing for the hour with another guy. PLEASE come in and watch. The more people in there, the bigger the paycheck for me and we all know I need the money right now....
ALSO if you think youd like to give it a try on www.thestage.tv, Im their official recruiter!!! Please contact me if you want to show off your talent!! Its not just for singers either!!!! any comedy act, singer, dancer, EVERYTHING! Your weird and unique talents is what we need!! please contact me through here or officialmeganbesler@hotmail.com and I will get you set up!!! you could be paid to show your talent on there. what have you got to lose?!?!? seriously, email me....NOW!!
Next....I have a photoshoot this coming week...the 11th to be exact. VERY fun. For once, its not a photoshoot that I came up with. It'll be a big actual paid shoot, they contacted me in doing it and im way stoked. Cant wait to show you the final product!!!!!!!!!!!
I also have a runway show in march that I was contacted in doing, way stoked for that as well because the designer wants me in a lady gaga inspired look...SOOOO excited!!!!!!
I dont think I have much else to tell you guys.
you can ask me questions on here.... www.formspring.me/meganbesler :) ask me ANYTHING....beware tho, Im very blunt and overly honest ;)
oh ok , one more thing. website. anyone wanna buy me a domain haha?! jk. i have a new site up www.wix.com/meganbesler/megan :) check it. lemme know what you think! and as always, keep in touch with me, my videos, my modeling, my songs, my weird and messed up life on these following sites :) Cant wait to talk to ya'll. LOVE YOU!!!!! :))
www.wix.com/meganbesler/megan
www.twitter.com/meganbesler
www.facebook.com/officialmeganbesler
www.youtube.com/meganbesler
www.myspace.com/chocolate_814
www.modelmayhem.com/meganbesler
Saturday, January 9, 2010
New projects...
For once this isnt a VENTING blog....I actually just feel like typing for some reason and I figure this is probably the best way to do so...
SO..Im going to tell you about a few projects I possibly have coming up.
But first Id also like to say I didnt get cast on MTV's True Life :( I was in the running for a specific show and would have gotten to be on it if it wasnt for one tiny detail :( So boo to that....
I cant go into detail with some of them just yet, so please dont go crazy on me!
#1) I have some really cool photoshoots coming up. My old roomate Nikki and I will be doing one really soon. She needs some audition shots for a calendar she might be in and she wanted me to help her. Bikini shots in the snow....but for my portion, itll have a twist to it. Youll just have to wait and see what my crazy mind comes up with once the shoot is done!! ;) Some other shoots include working with the Goddess herself, Alisabeth (my Rocky Horror director)...shes in TN right now I believe working on her upcoming album and then shes back in NYC doing broadway work, but when shes back in Iowa we have some crazy ideas flowing in which Im TOTALLYYYY excited about because I dont have these ideas in my portfolio yet so Im crazy stoked!! Another possibility is the NOH8 Campaign. If you dont know what it is, ask. Click here for details. Some people are going to go crazy on me and say Im copying them, but Im really not so save your freakin breath
2) I still have plans to go to Nashville this summer I am hoping to work with some people in writing a few songs, MAYBE cut a demo. Those plans are all still in the air, BUT it's in the works none the less
3) Im in the process right now in writing a song with a FANTABULAS song writer, shes helping me SO much in getting this song written, and once I get a good recording mic I will get it recorded......anyone wanna help in donating to the Help Get Megan Famous Fund to help buy me this $130 mic I want?! hehe ;)
4) A music video is in the works. Possibly with my demo song.......theres only talk of it right now between a couple friends and I but it could possibly be happening.
One last thing Id like to mention, #5) lol.....is I was offered a paid spot on http://www.thestage.tv/ which is a website where you can go hear me sing live!! Its like an open mic night via internet. VERY cool site. Karaoke contests where you could win $250 I think, way cool. Anyways, every Thursday, I share the spotlight with Mike for an hour. 8-9 pm PACIFIC time on http://www.thestage.tv/ please go in there and help get this amazing site going :)) I also really enjoy the feedback AND I always take requests...AND I always answer your guys' questions afterwards :))
Alright thats it for now. Keep it real.
XOXO M
SO..Im going to tell you about a few projects I possibly have coming up.
But first Id also like to say I didnt get cast on MTV's True Life :( I was in the running for a specific show and would have gotten to be on it if it wasnt for one tiny detail :( So boo to that....
I cant go into detail with some of them just yet, so please dont go crazy on me!
#1) I have some really cool photoshoots coming up. My old roomate Nikki and I will be doing one really soon. She needs some audition shots for a calendar she might be in and she wanted me to help her. Bikini shots in the snow....but for my portion, itll have a twist to it. Youll just have to wait and see what my crazy mind comes up with once the shoot is done!! ;) Some other shoots include working with the Goddess herself, Alisabeth (my Rocky Horror director)...shes in TN right now I believe working on her upcoming album and then shes back in NYC doing broadway work, but when shes back in Iowa we have some crazy ideas flowing in which Im TOTALLYYYY excited about because I dont have these ideas in my portfolio yet so Im crazy stoked!! Another possibility is the NOH8 Campaign. If you dont know what it is, ask. Click here for details. Some people are going to go crazy on me and say Im copying them, but Im really not so save your freakin breath
2) I still have plans to go to Nashville this summer I am hoping to work with some people in writing a few songs, MAYBE cut a demo. Those plans are all still in the air, BUT it's in the works none the less
3) Im in the process right now in writing a song with a FANTABULAS song writer, shes helping me SO much in getting this song written, and once I get a good recording mic I will get it recorded......anyone wanna help in donating to the Help Get Megan Famous Fund to help buy me this $130 mic I want?! hehe ;)
4) A music video is in the works. Possibly with my demo song.......theres only talk of it right now between a couple friends and I but it could possibly be happening.
One last thing Id like to mention, #5) lol.....is I was offered a paid spot on http://www.thestage.tv/ which is a website where you can go hear me sing live!! Its like an open mic night via internet. VERY cool site. Karaoke contests where you could win $250 I think, way cool. Anyways, every Thursday, I share the spotlight with Mike for an hour. 8-9 pm PACIFIC time on http://www.thestage.tv/ please go in there and help get this amazing site going :)) I also really enjoy the feedback AND I always take requests...AND I always answer your guys' questions afterwards :))
Alright thats it for now. Keep it real.
XOXO M
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Out with the old, In with the new...........Life's thinking, By Megan Besler ;)
Out with the old, In with the new....Life's thinking by Megan Besler ;) Blake Shelton, Youve corrupted me......
My life's begun to change already.....my New Years Resolution is to take the bad out of my life and worry about the good. Ive done some "spring cleaning" already so to speak. And I feel a load off my shoulders. Amazing what a few brave, blunt, venting sessions can do to a person.
Anyways.....off topic, but I want to vent.....Let me start of by saying this blog is going to be directed at certain people, and I dont care if they read this. Im blunt, and Im honest, and theres nothing wrong with that. If your gunna get mad, go ahead. My advise is...dont read this if its going to offend you.
Issue number 1)
Dont sit on Twitter and write "I hate when people constantly update their twitter every second of the day". Actually by all means, go ahead and say that, but isnt it obvious that there's an "unfollow" button for a reason?!?! There ya go genius...UNFOLLOW! or hell, block me!! I do realize I tweet a lot lol, i dont really give two shits. Those who do follow me obviously find some weird interest in me, those who wish to not read what I have to say, well then that unfollow button comes in handy.
Issue number 2)
Assumptions...Oh assumptions.....everytime I "assumed" something was about me that certian people wrote, I got yelled at. But now everytime I write something and you assume its about you you freak out. Yes it usually is about you BUT isnt that kind of hypocrtical? Just saying....either way I dont care.....again, dont like what I have to say? UNFOLLOW!
Issue number 3)
The jealousy needs to stop.....this goes for more than one person. Its obvious and its not something I like....I dont like you being "jealous" of what I have or what I do...to be honest its a little rediculous. You all are adults, how about we act like them shall we? Dont try and beat me out on everything Im doing this year, or have done in the past. Its getting SO rediculous and old, and its not just me noticing anymore.....so grow the fuck up before you make youself look like an even bigger idiot....
Issue number 4)
I guess this kind of goes back to jealousy, but dont sit there and bash me on "social networking sites" like I wont find out. Using code names or doing the beat around the bush way of bashing me. Its stupid and its obvious....IM NOT FUCKING RETARDED!!!! What I do with my free time is my business and if your "threatened" by it or whatever, keep it to yourself. Dont gang up with you friends and try to "beat me" with some stupid game you all are playing. Grow the fuck up. You dont like what I do? Grow some balls and say it to me.....or hey, look, UNFOLLOW!!!!!
Issue number 5)
Compulsive liars...This goes for more than one person again. Lying is a given, everyone does it. But did you compulsive lying is a disease?! Yes, it is...Its when you honestly cant help it, and you lie. I believe I know a few people who do this.......2 in particular. They feel the need to lie about almost everything, when in reality, the truth isnt even bad!!! I catch you both in a LOT of lies, more than you think I know, and if your trying to "make friends/fans" this isnt the way of doing so......quite pathetic if you ask me.....who's real here? The liar? Thats a big negative.......
Can you tell Im fed up with people lately?!?!?! I honestly dont know what you people are trying to prove ..... Its ok though, amusement from stupid people is what makes my world go round!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you all have a great 2010 :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--Megan Besler xoxo
My life's begun to change already.....my New Years Resolution is to take the bad out of my life and worry about the good. Ive done some "spring cleaning" already so to speak. And I feel a load off my shoulders. Amazing what a few brave, blunt, venting sessions can do to a person.
Anyways.....off topic, but I want to vent.....Let me start of by saying this blog is going to be directed at certain people, and I dont care if they read this. Im blunt, and Im honest, and theres nothing wrong with that. If your gunna get mad, go ahead. My advise is...dont read this if its going to offend you.
Issue number 1)
Dont sit on Twitter and write "I hate when people constantly update their twitter every second of the day". Actually by all means, go ahead and say that, but isnt it obvious that there's an "unfollow" button for a reason?!?! There ya go genius...UNFOLLOW! or hell, block me!! I do realize I tweet a lot lol, i dont really give two shits. Those who do follow me obviously find some weird interest in me, those who wish to not read what I have to say, well then that unfollow button comes in handy.
Issue number 2)
Assumptions...Oh assumptions.....everytime I "assumed" something was about me that certian people wrote, I got yelled at. But now everytime I write something and you assume its about you you freak out. Yes it usually is about you BUT isnt that kind of hypocrtical? Just saying....either way I dont care.....again, dont like what I have to say? UNFOLLOW!
Issue number 3)
The jealousy needs to stop.....this goes for more than one person. Its obvious and its not something I like....I dont like you being "jealous" of what I have or what I do...to be honest its a little rediculous. You all are adults, how about we act like them shall we? Dont try and beat me out on everything Im doing this year, or have done in the past. Its getting SO rediculous and old, and its not just me noticing anymore.....so grow the fuck up before you make youself look like an even bigger idiot....
Issue number 4)
I guess this kind of goes back to jealousy, but dont sit there and bash me on "social networking sites" like I wont find out. Using code names or doing the beat around the bush way of bashing me. Its stupid and its obvious....IM NOT FUCKING RETARDED!!!! What I do with my free time is my business and if your "threatened" by it or whatever, keep it to yourself. Dont gang up with you friends and try to "beat me" with some stupid game you all are playing. Grow the fuck up. You dont like what I do? Grow some balls and say it to me.....or hey, look, UNFOLLOW!!!!!
Issue number 5)
Compulsive liars...This goes for more than one person again. Lying is a given, everyone does it. But did you compulsive lying is a disease?! Yes, it is...Its when you honestly cant help it, and you lie. I believe I know a few people who do this.......2 in particular. They feel the need to lie about almost everything, when in reality, the truth isnt even bad!!! I catch you both in a LOT of lies, more than you think I know, and if your trying to "make friends/fans" this isnt the way of doing so......quite pathetic if you ask me.....who's real here? The liar? Thats a big negative.......
Can you tell Im fed up with people lately?!?!?! I honestly dont know what you people are trying to prove ..... Its ok though, amusement from stupid people is what makes my world go round!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you all have a great 2010 :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--Megan Besler xoxo
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