Sorry, coffee?! random....caffine kick?! possibly....
I just wanted to update you all who actually read this for once. I know I said I was going to be writing on here like everyday, which I almost succeeded back in my "Rocky Horror" prime lmao!! (ok, enough with the jokes...)
I really havent been on here much lately, nothing interesting to vent about...that I cared to have the world read anyways! Ha!
I do have some cool news though :) Whichhhhh I will get to later...FOR NOW...let me update you all on some things..
1) I have recently worked with a charity on www.CountryMusicCares.net in getting christmas presents for those who cant afford it. Some business friends of mine and myself raised over $400 to that charity, so amazing job guys... :)
2) I still have signed headshots and pictures left from the "charity donating" time period....they are all autographed myself and will be personalized if you want them to be....But I have a bunch left yet so if youd like to donate to the wonderful cause I posted in numero uno, please let me know and in return I will give you an amazingly amazing autographed photo of yours truely ;) email me at meganbesler@hotmail.com, tweet me at www.twitter.com/meganbesler or leave me a comment on here with your email and ill get back to ASAP...
3) Ive gained a SHIT TON (excuse the language....so sue me) of new followers on twitter and I cant thank you guys enough for putting up with my bullshit on there haha! Your in for treat in following me, Im just warning you all NOW lmao!
4) Ive recently gotten the opportunity to sing on www.TheStage.tv which is a new and upcoming live onstage singing/poetry reading/monologue/whatever you wanna do on camera show. Basically like an open mic night via internet. Ive gotten asked to sing on there, got paid to do so, and now Im being asked to be a regular on there so that is awesome :) AND it's a paid gig which makes it so much better. The owners themself were the ones who found me on a talent website and asked me to sing on there. Dont believe me, I have the proof bitchesssss..... Anyways, its awesome to sing live, its something I love doing because I love the feedback, and it gives me room to make mistakes, and this is going to sound weird but I like making mistakes, to see how I can grow from them, hear what people say about them, so on and so forth....Anyways, so thats how I spend my late night/early mornings....singing to random people and getting paid for it. Amazing life right?! Haha....I win
5) Ive recently been singing The National Anthem at a lot of University Of Iowa events....totally almost 10 in 2009 and 2010, Its amazing I must say. But if anyones around New Years Eve at 5:00 pm.. (I know I know, NYE...wtf?! but its 5pm ok, gimme a break, you wont be drunk yet....) you all should come check it out....its at Carver Hawkeye Arena in Iowa City, IA and its the Iowa Womens Basketball game vs. Wisconsin I believe. Ill chill with ya'll after if you come :)!
6) I have a LOT of concerts this year coming up......I dont know why Im telling you this but concerts are a HUGE part of my life, and lets just say they deal with some of the BEST performers out there......Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift (in which is possibly going to be my 7 yr old sisters bday present), Blake Shelton, and Jason Aldean....and a possible showing of my all time fav musical WICKED!!!!!!!!!!!......Which reminds me...*refer to next number(7)*
7)Blake Shelton...you owe me and Golda a beer..... ;) Sorry, deff not letting that one down.......
8) Finally going to be making it to DCI Finals this year in Indy. I havent been to DCI finals since 06 when they were in Madison,WI. Its longgggg overdue. So those of you, if you even know what Im talking about.....and are gunna be in Indianapolis, IN finals week as well, hit me up....we'll all have a tweetup like they did last year :) Im so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -------wow, im such a band geek-----------
9) I might be heading to NASHVILLE this summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you to an amazing girl, she might possibly be getting something set up with some songwriters, possibly could be cutting a demo while down there, and having some bar shows! CAN YOU SAY EXCITING!!!! This is no joke people, I swear to god, youre all gunna know my name soon!!! I have more drive than I ever had for this sort of thing and by golly, Im gunna make it happen. Im sick of sitting on my ass not going after my dreams. Things happen for a reason and I think this is the time.....
10) I dont think I really have a 10, I just wanted it to be an even number :) I have OCD, so sue me....
ANYWAYS, Any ?'s let me know :)
Booking, contact meganbesler@hotmail.com
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Someone on Twitter asked me to do this survey :)
HeidiPonyLuv via Twitter asked me to do this survey :)! So credit to her!! Here it goes....
What are your favourite music genres?
--I like everything to be honest. I adore country obviously but Im also very drawn to Broadway because thats also a passion of mine. But I grew up listening to 80's, some pop, again, a little of everything. My way of looking at it is if its got a story behind it, and the person singing it is passionate about what theyre singing about, Im a fan.
List a few of your favourite bands/singers?
--Rascal Flatts, Bon Jovi, Sugarland, Gloriana, Keith Urban, Taylor Swift, Love & Theft, Jason Aldean, Lady GaGa, Blake Lewis, Carrie Underwood, Shania Twain, Leanne Rimes, Bryan White, Eden Espinosa, Michael Jackson, Megan Hilty, Martina Mcbride, Blake Shelton,Miranda Lambert, Backstreet Boys (yes,I still like them!!), Aaron Carter, Spice Girls (YES, I STILL LIKE THEM!!), Kelly Clarkson, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Journey, Hank Williams, Elvis,Johnny Cash......you get the picture!!!
List a few of your favourite albums?
--Oh dear...uhm i love every Rascal Flatts album...Jason Aldean's Relentless was amazing, WICKED (the musical), Carrie Underwood always puts out amazing albums, Taylor Swifts Fearless because she wrote every damn song on there....theres more but those stand out.
What's the best gig you've ever been to?
--Rascal Flatts concert in Des Moines, IA January of 2009 (god its almost been a year already) because it was the first time I got to meet them, and we had front row seats, AND we got pictures onstage. Or the Martina Mcbride/Blake Shelton show this past month because Blake himself invited me there and gave me tickets :)
What band makes you feel happy?
--Rascal Flatts
What song makes you feel happy?
--Honestly, music in general just puts me in a better mood
What band makes you laugh?
--Jason Aldean and his band haha!!! Oh good memories...!
What song makes you laugh?
--Blake Sheltons freecreditreport.com lmao!! that was the funniest thing when he sang that live a couple weeks ago!!
What band makes you angry?
--Does Hannah Montana count?? lol! Sorry...too rude?
What band makes you sad?
--No "band" persay makes me sad, just certain songs...
What song makes you sad?
--WAY too many to name...a good amount are by Rascal Flatts though. Are you sensing a theme here?!
What music genres do you not like?
--Like I said before, I listen to anything. Im not FOND of rap and stuff like that but if theres passion behind the song and its telling me a story, then youve drawn my attention
What song makes you wanna dance?
--3 by Britney Spears....I dont know why...I just picked a random song I remember dancing to at a club once lol
Why do you listen to music?
--Music is my life. It takes me to a place that nothing else can take me to. It lets me be someone Im not and lets my emotions out.
When do you listen to music?
--Everyday :)
Are you listening to music right now?
--I am :)
If so, what band?
--Im actually listening to some old 40's tunes. Big Band Era type stuff :) See, I really am random.
What song is stuck in your head right now?
--Well, Since I mentioned it before, 3 by Britney Spears haha
What song do you love at the moment?
--Why by Rascal Flatts....its a VERY personal song to me....(read my last blog)
Could you live without music?
--NO!!!
What are your favourite music genres?
--I like everything to be honest. I adore country obviously but Im also very drawn to Broadway because thats also a passion of mine. But I grew up listening to 80's, some pop, again, a little of everything. My way of looking at it is if its got a story behind it, and the person singing it is passionate about what theyre singing about, Im a fan.
List a few of your favourite bands/singers?
--Rascal Flatts, Bon Jovi, Sugarland, Gloriana, Keith Urban, Taylor Swift, Love & Theft, Jason Aldean, Lady GaGa, Blake Lewis, Carrie Underwood, Shania Twain, Leanne Rimes, Bryan White, Eden Espinosa, Michael Jackson, Megan Hilty, Martina Mcbride, Blake Shelton,Miranda Lambert, Backstreet Boys (yes,I still like them!!), Aaron Carter, Spice Girls (YES, I STILL LIKE THEM!!), Kelly Clarkson, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Journey, Hank Williams, Elvis,Johnny Cash......you get the picture!!!
List a few of your favourite albums?
--Oh dear...uhm i love every Rascal Flatts album...Jason Aldean's Relentless was amazing, WICKED (the musical), Carrie Underwood always puts out amazing albums, Taylor Swifts Fearless because she wrote every damn song on there....theres more but those stand out.
What's the best gig you've ever been to?
--Rascal Flatts concert in Des Moines, IA January of 2009 (god its almost been a year already) because it was the first time I got to meet them, and we had front row seats, AND we got pictures onstage. Or the Martina Mcbride/Blake Shelton show this past month because Blake himself invited me there and gave me tickets :)
What band makes you feel happy?
--Rascal Flatts
What song makes you feel happy?
--Honestly, music in general just puts me in a better mood
What band makes you laugh?
--Jason Aldean and his band haha!!! Oh good memories...!
What song makes you laugh?
--Blake Sheltons freecreditreport.com lmao!! that was the funniest thing when he sang that live a couple weeks ago!!
What band makes you angry?
--Does Hannah Montana count?? lol! Sorry...too rude?
What band makes you sad?
--No "band" persay makes me sad, just certain songs...
What song makes you sad?
--WAY too many to name...a good amount are by Rascal Flatts though. Are you sensing a theme here?!
What music genres do you not like?
--Like I said before, I listen to anything. Im not FOND of rap and stuff like that but if theres passion behind the song and its telling me a story, then youve drawn my attention
What song makes you wanna dance?
--3 by Britney Spears....I dont know why...I just picked a random song I remember dancing to at a club once lol
Why do you listen to music?
--Music is my life. It takes me to a place that nothing else can take me to. It lets me be someone Im not and lets my emotions out.
When do you listen to music?
--Everyday :)
Are you listening to music right now?
--I am :)
If so, what band?
--Im actually listening to some old 40's tunes. Big Band Era type stuff :) See, I really am random.
What song is stuck in your head right now?
--Well, Since I mentioned it before, 3 by Britney Spears haha
What song do you love at the moment?
--Why by Rascal Flatts....its a VERY personal song to me....(read my last blog)
Could you live without music?
--NO!!!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
...Cuz Its not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
"Why"-Rascal Flatts
It must have been a place so dark
You couldnt feel the light
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This cant be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh why, thats what I keep asking
Was there anything i could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong and whyy youd leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now in my mind ill keep you frozen as a 17 year old
Rounding third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun
Oh why thats what I keep asking
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
Oh God only knows what went wrong and why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now the oak trees are swaying in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
Tangled thoughts i hear a mocking bird sing this old world really aint that bad a place
Oh why theres no comprehending and who am i to try judge or explain
But I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasnt worth the fight
They were wrong
They lied
Now your gone and we cry
Its just not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song
As you read through the lyrics you might ask why Im posting this....Let me tell you a bit of a story.
We all know how much of a huge Rascal Flatts fan I am...well when their new CD "Unstoppable" came out, my roommate at the time went out and bought it, and I spent the entire day listening and analyzing the songs, like I do with every new CD I get.....I got to the last song, and was listening to it wondering Ok, what is this song even about, I dont get it.....but yet I was highly drawn to it.....it got to the chorus and still not understanding I almost turned the song...but it got to the part of "cuz its not like you to leave the stage in the middle of a song"....and I immediatley broke down. The song was about suicide.....now, let me back up....litterly, just the night before I had had the worst breaking point of my entire life. I dont want to get into details because honestly its way too hard on me to even talk about....but I contimplated suicide....almost actually going through with it. So hearing this song litterly the day after was like God was speaking to me in some weird round about way. So if you wonder why Ive always been a die hard Rascal Flatts fan, this my friends....is why...
So after hearing this song, it gave me inspiration to make my own video...dealing with what I went through, letting people know its ok, letting people know there are other people out there dealing with the same stuff, etc. It was not a mockary in me trying to reach out for help at this point, and it was no way mean to offend anyone...I honestly was only going to show my close family and friends the video but thought maybe this video would serve more of a purpose...little did I know, only a few months later the video would reach almost 30,000 views on youtube.....I litterly, TO THIS DAY, get at least 5 emails a week with people telling me their stories and asking me to help with their depression......and the most rewarding part of it all, is the people who have actually wrote to me telling me my video actually helped them overcome attempting suicide. I never in a million years thought I could touch someone like that......
Rascal Flatts, heres to you. I adore you. Youve helped me and numorous people through so much that youd never imagine.....I owe you everything for me being here today. Thank you.
With all that said....here is the video I made that I was telling you about
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dje_M15hVZE
And here is the video that led me into writing this blog and telling you all my story. This was posted by Rascal Flatts on their Twitter today. Enjoy
http://www.ilike.com/artist/Rascal%20Flatts/videos/595884618
Please, do me a favor...Ive said this before and Ill say it again....If any...ANY...of you need someone to talk to, please do NOT..i repeat, do NOTTT be afraid to talk to me. Ive been in your shoes, I know the feelings and I understand the pain.....my email is always open to anyone who needs to vent, needs advise, needs a way out.....please, LET ME HELP YOU....I am here and always will be. I love you all. Thank you.
It must have been a place so dark
You couldnt feel the light
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This cant be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh why, thats what I keep asking
Was there anything i could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong and whyy youd leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now in my mind ill keep you frozen as a 17 year old
Rounding third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun
Oh why thats what I keep asking
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
Oh God only knows what went wrong and why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now the oak trees are swaying in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
Tangled thoughts i hear a mocking bird sing this old world really aint that bad a place
Oh why theres no comprehending and who am i to try judge or explain
But I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasnt worth the fight
They were wrong
They lied
Now your gone and we cry
Its just not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song
As you read through the lyrics you might ask why Im posting this....Let me tell you a bit of a story.
We all know how much of a huge Rascal Flatts fan I am...well when their new CD "Unstoppable" came out, my roommate at the time went out and bought it, and I spent the entire day listening and analyzing the songs, like I do with every new CD I get.....I got to the last song, and was listening to it wondering Ok, what is this song even about, I dont get it.....but yet I was highly drawn to it.....it got to the chorus and still not understanding I almost turned the song...but it got to the part of "cuz its not like you to leave the stage in the middle of a song"....and I immediatley broke down. The song was about suicide.....now, let me back up....litterly, just the night before I had had the worst breaking point of my entire life. I dont want to get into details because honestly its way too hard on me to even talk about....but I contimplated suicide....almost actually going through with it. So hearing this song litterly the day after was like God was speaking to me in some weird round about way. So if you wonder why Ive always been a die hard Rascal Flatts fan, this my friends....is why...
So after hearing this song, it gave me inspiration to make my own video...dealing with what I went through, letting people know its ok, letting people know there are other people out there dealing with the same stuff, etc. It was not a mockary in me trying to reach out for help at this point, and it was no way mean to offend anyone...I honestly was only going to show my close family and friends the video but thought maybe this video would serve more of a purpose...little did I know, only a few months later the video would reach almost 30,000 views on youtube.....I litterly, TO THIS DAY, get at least 5 emails a week with people telling me their stories and asking me to help with their depression......and the most rewarding part of it all, is the people who have actually wrote to me telling me my video actually helped them overcome attempting suicide. I never in a million years thought I could touch someone like that......
Rascal Flatts, heres to you. I adore you. Youve helped me and numorous people through so much that youd never imagine.....I owe you everything for me being here today. Thank you.
With all that said....here is the video I made that I was telling you about
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dje_M15hVZE
And here is the video that led me into writing this blog and telling you all my story. This was posted by Rascal Flatts on their Twitter today. Enjoy
http://www.ilike.com/artist/Rascal%20Flatts/videos/595884618
Please, do me a favor...Ive said this before and Ill say it again....If any...ANY...of you need someone to talk to, please do NOT..i repeat, do NOTTT be afraid to talk to me. Ive been in your shoes, I know the feelings and I understand the pain.....my email is always open to anyone who needs to vent, needs advise, needs a way out.....please, LET ME HELP YOU....I am here and always will be. I love you all. Thank you.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Future of Music
So I just would like to vent about something, if I may...
This new music "scene". Im talking Lady GaGa, Adam Lambert if you will....
Everyone has such controversy about them, but I would like to put this into perspective for you all. First off, yes, I am a Lady G fan, Im not so much an Adam Lambert fan though I do like his voice, and for the record I am NOT being bias....I never liked Lady gaga until recently, and actually her uniqueness is what drew my attention to her. So, before you give me your opinion on me being BIAS about this situation, understand this is from a PERFORMERS perspective, not a fans perspective.
Ok, so think of this...we have an entire world full of these amazing singers, actresses, performers, etc. What do they all have in common? They're all THE SAME! They put on their show, thats it. They all have something unique about them, yes. And yes, some do branch out out of their "box" a bit to try something new. Problem is, usually when they do something "new" and it gets shut down, they they hurry up and try something different before they get hated upon by their fans and the rest of the world.
Ok, now lets take Lady Gaga for instance. Theres a lot of talk of her being both male and female. EVEN IF SHE WAS, WHOOOO CARESSSS?! Shes not, BUT thats showing people that people have no life other than to spread rumors about her..BUT, does it hurt her? no...Theres also a lot of hate on her because of her music and what she does. ITS DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! The problem is with anything in this world, we hate change. Its proven. And in the music industry, obviously you are allowed your opinions, BUT from a performers perspective, she is beyond amazing. Bringing something new to the table, doing something NO ONE ELSE has done because of the fact of how the world will treat them and look at them. Lady G has gone through all this hate and all these opinions but still holds strong to who she is. The people who have these harsh opinions on her are just saying how she sucks, has no talent, and is a freak because of what she does in her videos and in her shows. YOUR JUST SCARED OF CHANGE. She has brought something new to the music scene and you dont like it because it is different. Let me tell you what I personally think....again, from a performers perspective, hear me out.....She is weird, she is strange...BUT...when she puts on a show, its not just song and dance, its an entire theatrical performance...she plays a character in everything she does and I think that is the most AMAZING thing someone can do onstage. So whether I like your music or not, if your telling a story and drawing me in by watching you tell it, youve got me hooked. And whether people like her or not, she has people talking, so obviously youve been paying attention to her...
And for the people who say she sucks..watch her earlier stuff...before lady gaga, youll understand why your COMPLETELY wrong in that aspect...
Now, Adam Lambert....again, hes weird....BUT hes different and that is what America is afraid of. They are scared of him because he is openly gay and tends to show it onstage. SO WHAT....WELCOME TO THE FUTURE PEOPLE! Being gay is now ACCEPTED, I dont know if youve heard......
What he did onstage during the AMAs was yes indeed odd to say the least BUT he was a character onstage acting in his own show....showing the world who HE is...and if people cant accept that, then theyre ignorant.
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE OF MUSIC PEOPLE....LEARN TO LOVE IT BECAUSE IM WILLING TO BET YOU ANYTHING THAT THIS WONT BE THE LAST TIME SOMETHING CRAZY WILL HAPPEN......
oh, and I guess this doesnt really portray to these two people, but Taylor Swift.....i have to ask...Why does everyone hate a 19 year old singer who writes ALL her own music? Think of that and get back to me.....she deserves entertainer of the year....sorry for all of you who cant realize theres talent behind her. Again...im not bias here, I HATE her singing, she sucks horribly....but how many artists out there right now can say they write ALL their own music? With that note, thank you and goodbye
This new music "scene". Im talking Lady GaGa, Adam Lambert if you will....
Everyone has such controversy about them, but I would like to put this into perspective for you all. First off, yes, I am a Lady G fan, Im not so much an Adam Lambert fan though I do like his voice, and for the record I am NOT being bias....I never liked Lady gaga until recently, and actually her uniqueness is what drew my attention to her. So, before you give me your opinion on me being BIAS about this situation, understand this is from a PERFORMERS perspective, not a fans perspective.
Ok, so think of this...we have an entire world full of these amazing singers, actresses, performers, etc. What do they all have in common? They're all THE SAME! They put on their show, thats it. They all have something unique about them, yes. And yes, some do branch out out of their "box" a bit to try something new. Problem is, usually when they do something "new" and it gets shut down, they they hurry up and try something different before they get hated upon by their fans and the rest of the world.
Ok, now lets take Lady Gaga for instance. Theres a lot of talk of her being both male and female. EVEN IF SHE WAS, WHOOOO CARESSSS?! Shes not, BUT thats showing people that people have no life other than to spread rumors about her..BUT, does it hurt her? no...Theres also a lot of hate on her because of her music and what she does. ITS DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! The problem is with anything in this world, we hate change. Its proven. And in the music industry, obviously you are allowed your opinions, BUT from a performers perspective, she is beyond amazing. Bringing something new to the table, doing something NO ONE ELSE has done because of the fact of how the world will treat them and look at them. Lady G has gone through all this hate and all these opinions but still holds strong to who she is. The people who have these harsh opinions on her are just saying how she sucks, has no talent, and is a freak because of what she does in her videos and in her shows. YOUR JUST SCARED OF CHANGE. She has brought something new to the music scene and you dont like it because it is different. Let me tell you what I personally think....again, from a performers perspective, hear me out.....She is weird, she is strange...BUT...when she puts on a show, its not just song and dance, its an entire theatrical performance...she plays a character in everything she does and I think that is the most AMAZING thing someone can do onstage. So whether I like your music or not, if your telling a story and drawing me in by watching you tell it, youve got me hooked. And whether people like her or not, she has people talking, so obviously youve been paying attention to her...
And for the people who say she sucks..watch her earlier stuff...before lady gaga, youll understand why your COMPLETELY wrong in that aspect...
Now, Adam Lambert....again, hes weird....BUT hes different and that is what America is afraid of. They are scared of him because he is openly gay and tends to show it onstage. SO WHAT....WELCOME TO THE FUTURE PEOPLE! Being gay is now ACCEPTED, I dont know if youve heard......
What he did onstage during the AMAs was yes indeed odd to say the least BUT he was a character onstage acting in his own show....showing the world who HE is...and if people cant accept that, then theyre ignorant.
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE OF MUSIC PEOPLE....LEARN TO LOVE IT BECAUSE IM WILLING TO BET YOU ANYTHING THAT THIS WONT BE THE LAST TIME SOMETHING CRAZY WILL HAPPEN......
oh, and I guess this doesnt really portray to these two people, but Taylor Swift.....i have to ask...Why does everyone hate a 19 year old singer who writes ALL her own music? Think of that and get back to me.....she deserves entertainer of the year....sorry for all of you who cant realize theres talent behind her. Again...im not bias here, I HATE her singing, she sucks horribly....but how many artists out there right now can say they write ALL their own music? With that note, thank you and goodbye
Monday, November 16, 2009
Chillin VIP style ;) Wheres my close up?!
Hey guys, Sorry I havent written in a couple days. I spent the weekend in Milwaukee :) Headed up there Friday afternoon, stopped at Shanes house and then headed to the mall to meet Tanya to do a little shopping before our venture out that night haha! Her and I had VIP at Bootleggers in Milwaukee, WI....a bar/club, with freakin BRODY JENNER! (those of you who live sheltered life, hes the guy from The Hills, haha!) It was AMAZINGLY fun! So nice to just go out and have a good time for once. I go out every now and then with friends here and there but honestly the stuff we do just gets old and way too dramafied, so going out with Tanya this night was really nice to just chill out, drink a few, and have a good time. And hell, Brody Jenner was there so why the hell not, right?!?! Tanya had connections to get us into VIP so that was nice. Dancing with Brody and his friends and being their refs for beer pong lmao!! Ill post pics :) 
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Bucket List-Revised
So I wrote a blog a couple days ago with a bucket list of mine, and since then ive been adding more and more lol. So heres a revised list for now...im sure ill be adding more once I think of more!
1) Sing at an Iowa Mens Basketball game in Carver Hawkeye Arena - DONE (November 8th, 2009)2) Perform on a stage in NYC"
3) Sing the National Anthem at a NASCAR race
4) Be a performer at Disney World
5) Go on a cruise to Alaska (or wherever!)
6) Snorkle in the Great Barrier Reef
7) Get married
8) Skydive/bungee jump
9) Take a train to Alaska/through the mountains
10) Kayak with the whales in Alaska
11) Audition for WICKED the musical
12) Stay with an Indian Tribe for a summer
13) Work in the Peace Corps for a year
14) Own my own palm tree!
15) Own a condo on the beach
16) Live in Florida
17) Spend a year in New York City
18) Go to New Years Eve in New York City to see the ball drop
19) Go to France to see my Great Grandpas grave from WWII
20) Bring my Grandma to France to see her dads grave
21) Bring my Grandma to Washington DC to see the WWII memorial
22) Stay at the Atlantis hotel in the bahamas
23) Find something no ones ever discovered before (I have this thing that I want to actually find Atlantis haha. Crazy, I know)
24) Go to the moon
25) Take a submarine and see the actual Titanic
26) Own a tiger...and a monkey ;)
27) Stop living paycheck to paycheck
28) Do voice over work for animation films
29) Be a photographer for a wedding
30) Learn how to play guitar
31) Have my own perfume
32) Buy a professional camera so I can start up photography
33) Audition for Disney - DONE (Chicago 2006 roughly)
34) Get a callback for a broadway musical or tour
35) Perform with Alisabeth Caraway - DONE (After our Rocky Horror production directed by her, closing night she did Thriller with us)
36) Sleep along the beach
37) Edit a "real" music video or come up with the concept at least
38) Make my own music video
39) Be in a famous parade
40) Walk a redcarpet
41) Be a model in Fashion Week - DONE (Though Id perfer New York Fashion Week, I was a runway model for Fashion Week Iowa in 2007 I think it was)
42) Be in a magazine
43) Meet Oprah & Tyra Banks
44) Sing with Rascal Flatts
45) Build and design my own house
46) Have a child
47) Be a godparent - DONE (My sister, McKenna Grace. 2008)
48) Have an amazingly cute proposal to where I cry ;)
49) Kiss in front of Cinderella's Castle at Disney
50) Swim with the dolphins
51) Be a marine life trainer
52) Feed a whale
53) Go deep sea fishing
54) Own a jetski
55) Go rock climbing up a mountain
56) Be a makeup artist on a movie set or real theatre profuction
57) Get my dad in a tux lol!
58) Shoot a gun - DONE (I live on a farm in small town Iowa, enough said)
59) Go hunting with my dad - DONE (Again, small town Iowa, when doesnt this happen)
60) Start my own charity
61) Dig for dino bones
62) Go on a REAL treasure hunt
63) Be on a talk show
64) Host Saturday Night Live-Or at least be in a skit on SNL
65) Ride in a cab
66) Ride the subway
67) Sing on the radio - DONE (Not an original song or anything which would be ideal, but when I sang the National Anthem at the Iowa Mens Basketball game on 11/08/09 I was featured on the radio before the game!!)
68) Sing somewhere famous - DONE (Carver Hawkeye Arena. 11/08/09)
69) Sing on LIVE tv
70) Sing in a talent convention - DONE (Orlando, FL 2003)
71) Act in a talent convention
72) Be a promotional model - DONE (I work for Action! out of California)
73) Be a spokesmodel for a great cause
74) Write my own song and record it
75) Record a demo CD
76) Meet my inspirations/Idols, Rascal Flatts - DONE (Jan of 09 and August of 09)
77) Experience falling in love - Done
78) Save someone -Done (My suicide awareness video. I have had numorous people tell me its stopped them from commiting suicide and that is truely amazing to me)
79) Be in a Lady Gaga music video
1) Sing at an Iowa Mens Basketball game in Carver Hawkeye Arena - DONE (November 8th, 2009)2) Perform on a stage in NYC"
3) Sing the National Anthem at a NASCAR race
4) Be a performer at Disney World
5) Go on a cruise to Alaska (or wherever!)
6) Snorkle in the Great Barrier Reef
7) Get married
8) Skydive/bungee jump
9) Take a train to Alaska/through the mountains
10) Kayak with the whales in Alaska
11) Audition for WICKED the musical
12) Stay with an Indian Tribe for a summer
13) Work in the Peace Corps for a year
14) Own my own palm tree!
15) Own a condo on the beach
16) Live in Florida
17) Spend a year in New York City
18) Go to New Years Eve in New York City to see the ball drop
19) Go to France to see my Great Grandpas grave from WWII
20) Bring my Grandma to France to see her dads grave
21) Bring my Grandma to Washington DC to see the WWII memorial
22) Stay at the Atlantis hotel in the bahamas
23) Find something no ones ever discovered before (I have this thing that I want to actually find Atlantis haha. Crazy, I know)
24) Go to the moon
25) Take a submarine and see the actual Titanic
26) Own a tiger...and a monkey ;)
27) Stop living paycheck to paycheck
28) Do voice over work for animation films
29) Be a photographer for a wedding
30) Learn how to play guitar
31) Have my own perfume
32) Buy a professional camera so I can start up photography
33) Audition for Disney - DONE (Chicago 2006 roughly)
34) Get a callback for a broadway musical or tour
35) Perform with Alisabeth Caraway - DONE (After our Rocky Horror production directed by her, closing night she did Thriller with us)
36) Sleep along the beach
37) Edit a "real" music video or come up with the concept at least
38) Make my own music video
39) Be in a famous parade
40) Walk a redcarpet
41) Be a model in Fashion Week - DONE (Though Id perfer New York Fashion Week, I was a runway model for Fashion Week Iowa in 2007 I think it was)
42) Be in a magazine
43) Meet Oprah & Tyra Banks
44) Sing with Rascal Flatts
45) Build and design my own house
46) Have a child
47) Be a godparent - DONE (My sister, McKenna Grace. 2008)
48) Have an amazingly cute proposal to where I cry ;)
49) Kiss in front of Cinderella's Castle at Disney
50) Swim with the dolphins
51) Be a marine life trainer
52) Feed a whale
53) Go deep sea fishing
54) Own a jetski
55) Go rock climbing up a mountain
56) Be a makeup artist on a movie set or real theatre profuction
57) Get my dad in a tux lol!
58) Shoot a gun - DONE (I live on a farm in small town Iowa, enough said)
59) Go hunting with my dad - DONE (Again, small town Iowa, when doesnt this happen)
60) Start my own charity
61) Dig for dino bones
62) Go on a REAL treasure hunt
63) Be on a talk show
64) Host Saturday Night Live-Or at least be in a skit on SNL
65) Ride in a cab
66) Ride the subway
67) Sing on the radio - DONE (Not an original song or anything which would be ideal, but when I sang the National Anthem at the Iowa Mens Basketball game on 11/08/09 I was featured on the radio before the game!!)
68) Sing somewhere famous - DONE (Carver Hawkeye Arena. 11/08/09)
69) Sing on LIVE tv
70) Sing in a talent convention - DONE (Orlando, FL 2003)
71) Act in a talent convention
72) Be a promotional model - DONE (I work for Action! out of California)
73) Be a spokesmodel for a great cause
74) Write my own song and record it
75) Record a demo CD
76) Meet my inspirations/Idols, Rascal Flatts - DONE (Jan of 09 and August of 09)
77) Experience falling in love - Done
78) Save someone -Done (My suicide awareness video. I have had numorous people tell me its stopped them from commiting suicide and that is truely amazing to me)
79) Be in a Lady Gaga music video
Places to go...People to see
So Im even more in this "mood" ive been in for the last couple of days. This whole getting out of Iowa thing, doing what I am suppose to be doing in life. I was looking at more apartments tonight, ones in Florida. Found some promising ones that arent much money at all....I have a couple people whod like to move down there with me, so if I get the right people, and the right amount of people I think I can seriously make do.
My mom and I were looking at auditions for Disney last night and I found out theyre still doing auditions there every thursday which is promising because theyre all open auditions. And in the mean time of trying to get a job there I can always try and get a "normal" job somewhere down there.
Ive decided it is now my goal to be down in Florida by this coming summer. Im going to try and save from the little paychecks I already get and see what happens. Maybe try and get some auditions and interviews set up in the meantime so by the time I get down there I can already have something.
Besides all that..I went to my bestfriends ultrasound with her mom and her today. Shes having a boy :) And to be honest, Im quite excited for her :) After the ultrasound we went out to eat at Carlos O Kellys and then went baby shopping for a little bit.
Found out a couple things today that pretty much upset me, but im trying my best NOT to let it bother me. Its one of those things where no matter what I do, I cant seem to please people. And yes, I know...thats life. But all I do is be myself and that never seems to be good enough. Someones always mad at me, someone always dislikes me..and it seems like they always hate me for the sole reason OF being myself....doesnt seem quite right does it? I dont get it either....but what can you do I guess. People either like you or they dont. Theyre entitiled to their opinion on me, and I honestly dont usually care. But I need to kind of care at this point because its people Im going to be dealing with for the rest of my life :/.....so its not making things easy on me right now. I really just hate when people do this to people...they hate how you are but yet your doing nothing wrong, your not being anyone but YOURSELF...and for that they should be proud.
I got pretty much bashed on todaay because of the fact that I have tattoos and piercings. Let me tell you something, this is therapy for me. Sure, I have a lot, but its who I am...its what I like...and if that is a crime then I am sorry...you either take me how I am or dont take me at all, because im not changing who I am to satisfy YOU....I also got pretty bashed on today because of the fact that Im not in school anymore. Let me tell you all something. There is a difference in "dropping out" of school and taking time off. I did not drop out, im not that type of person. I finished my 2 years at a community college. Thats exactly what I intended to do. I was never for SURE what I wanted to do as a career and Im still not SURE on what I want. I have options, but theres a lot of them, and I sure as hell am not going to continue to pay money for something im not 100% sure in. Id like to do a lot of things one day, but I cant pay to go to school for all of them. That and not having any money right now to begin with is kinda putting a damper on any kind of schooling I want to do. So, therefor, I personally do not think there is anything wrong with taking time off from school to figure out what you want in life. I understand it makes me look bad, I really do. To be honest, it sucks and I hate the way it MAKES me look, but I cant really do anything about it right now. Im in the process of working towards something I REALLY want in life, but until then you have to give me time. Stuff just doesnt HAPPEN at the snap of a finger....Im trying my best to get where I personally want to be, and if you hate me for that then for that I am truely sorry. Its my fault that Im trying my best to get to where I want to be, Its my fault that I have this dream, and its my fault that im this "low life" right now. I just think its wrong to dislike people for this reason....Im doing what I can right now, what more do you want. Just PLEASE dont hate me for that reason...its wrong and plain stupid. All of what I just said...this does not make me a bad person...so Id really like it if people would stop thinking that.
Anyways, that was my RANT for the day...I could go on and on but I dont feel like bugging anymore of you by it. So with that note, Im going to try to fix my internet and then get some sleep. Much love
-M-
My mom and I were looking at auditions for Disney last night and I found out theyre still doing auditions there every thursday which is promising because theyre all open auditions. And in the mean time of trying to get a job there I can always try and get a "normal" job somewhere down there.
Ive decided it is now my goal to be down in Florida by this coming summer. Im going to try and save from the little paychecks I already get and see what happens. Maybe try and get some auditions and interviews set up in the meantime so by the time I get down there I can already have something.
Besides all that..I went to my bestfriends ultrasound with her mom and her today. Shes having a boy :) And to be honest, Im quite excited for her :) After the ultrasound we went out to eat at Carlos O Kellys and then went baby shopping for a little bit.
Found out a couple things today that pretty much upset me, but im trying my best NOT to let it bother me. Its one of those things where no matter what I do, I cant seem to please people. And yes, I know...thats life. But all I do is be myself and that never seems to be good enough. Someones always mad at me, someone always dislikes me..and it seems like they always hate me for the sole reason OF being myself....doesnt seem quite right does it? I dont get it either....but what can you do I guess. People either like you or they dont. Theyre entitiled to their opinion on me, and I honestly dont usually care. But I need to kind of care at this point because its people Im going to be dealing with for the rest of my life :/.....so its not making things easy on me right now. I really just hate when people do this to people...they hate how you are but yet your doing nothing wrong, your not being anyone but YOURSELF...and for that they should be proud.
I got pretty much bashed on todaay because of the fact that I have tattoos and piercings. Let me tell you something, this is therapy for me. Sure, I have a lot, but its who I am...its what I like...and if that is a crime then I am sorry...you either take me how I am or dont take me at all, because im not changing who I am to satisfy YOU....I also got pretty bashed on today because of the fact that Im not in school anymore. Let me tell you all something. There is a difference in "dropping out" of school and taking time off. I did not drop out, im not that type of person. I finished my 2 years at a community college. Thats exactly what I intended to do. I was never for SURE what I wanted to do as a career and Im still not SURE on what I want. I have options, but theres a lot of them, and I sure as hell am not going to continue to pay money for something im not 100% sure in. Id like to do a lot of things one day, but I cant pay to go to school for all of them. That and not having any money right now to begin with is kinda putting a damper on any kind of schooling I want to do. So, therefor, I personally do not think there is anything wrong with taking time off from school to figure out what you want in life. I understand it makes me look bad, I really do. To be honest, it sucks and I hate the way it MAKES me look, but I cant really do anything about it right now. Im in the process of working towards something I REALLY want in life, but until then you have to give me time. Stuff just doesnt HAPPEN at the snap of a finger....Im trying my best to get where I personally want to be, and if you hate me for that then for that I am truely sorry. Its my fault that Im trying my best to get to where I want to be, Its my fault that I have this dream, and its my fault that im this "low life" right now. I just think its wrong to dislike people for this reason....Im doing what I can right now, what more do you want. Just PLEASE dont hate me for that reason...its wrong and plain stupid. All of what I just said...this does not make me a bad person...so Id really like it if people would stop thinking that.
Anyways, that was my RANT for the day...I could go on and on but I dont feel like bugging anymore of you by it. So with that note, Im going to try to fix my internet and then get some sleep. Much love
-M-
Sunday, November 8, 2009
oo0o0ooo Say Can You See =)
Hey guys. Sorry I didnt get a chance to write on here last night, I was pretty busy. Came to my moms house in Cedar Rapids and then decided to go to "24 hours in a play" which was amazing. 24 hours in a play is where a bunch of people come together, whoever wants to be a part of it, and they put all the names in a hat, and draw out groups of people. Within the groups that they draw, someone in the group has to write a play, someone has to be the director, and the rest have to be the actors in the play. From the time they draw the names, they have 24 hours to write a script, direct a play, block it, memorize lines, and perform the final production. Its quite fun :) I wasnt in it this year, I just watched but it was a lot of fun :) I met up with a bunch of people from my Rocky Horror cast which was amazing to see everyone again :)! We had fun, it was extremely funny, and we ended up eating at Xaviors afterwards which was great to catch up with everyone. I finally got home at about 1:00 this morning though and I had to wake up early so I didnt really feel like blogging!
Today I had the chance of a lifetime though :) It was quite amazing I must say. Might not seem like that big of a deal to some people but I got to sing the National Anthem at the University Of Iowa's mens basketball game :) AMAZING!!! As you guys probably already know, I sang at a swim meet a couple weeks ago at the university of Iowa, and I was so stoked to find out that they wanted me to sing at a basketball game :) Let alone a MENS basketball game! Thats like the top of the top!! It was so amazing I cant even begin to explain it :)! It was only an exhibition game though so it wasnt a full house which was a little sucky but still, ive never sang in that big of a place and Ive never sang in front of that many people. And to my surprise I think I did half way decent :)
Here's the video if anyone cares to watch it. But before you watch it, I appologize for the mic cutting out, and I appologize on Iowa's behalf because im NOT from Hopkinton, Indiana....Indiana was the opposing team, I am from Hopkinton, IOWA haha! No harm done, it happens =)
Today I had the chance of a lifetime though :) It was quite amazing I must say. Might not seem like that big of a deal to some people but I got to sing the National Anthem at the University Of Iowa's mens basketball game :) AMAZING!!! As you guys probably already know, I sang at a swim meet a couple weeks ago at the university of Iowa, and I was so stoked to find out that they wanted me to sing at a basketball game :) Let alone a MENS basketball game! Thats like the top of the top!! It was so amazing I cant even begin to explain it :)! It was only an exhibition game though so it wasnt a full house which was a little sucky but still, ive never sang in that big of a place and Ive never sang in front of that many people. And to my surprise I think I did half way decent :)
Here's the video if anyone cares to watch it. But before you watch it, I appologize for the mic cutting out, and I appologize on Iowa's behalf because im NOT from Hopkinton, Indiana....Indiana was the opposing team, I am from Hopkinton, IOWA haha! No harm done, it happens =)
Also..... I thought this was pretty cool...I was on the big screen, name and all :) Kinda made my day to be in the middle of freakin CARVER HAWKEYE ARENA, singing to that many people in that big bowl, and then look up and see my face on the screen =) Its the little things in life.... =)
Something else I kinda wanna do, and yes, Ashley, Im stealing this idea for you, so credit to my cousin, but I was reading her blog the other day and I seen she had a bucket list going, and Ive always wanted to actually sit here and write one, but never really did it, so Im gunna start it now....Ill probably be adding more to this from time to time but for now, here ya go. And no, the 1st one im not just randomly adding, its always been a dream of mine to sing there.
1) Sing at an Iowa Mens Basketball game in Carver Hawkeye Arena - DONE (November 8th, 2009)
2) Perform on a stage in NYC
3) Sing the National Anthem at a NASCAR race
4) Be a performer at Disney World
5) Go on a cruise to Alaska (or wherever!)
6) Snorkle in the Great Barrier Reef
7) Get married
8) Skydive/bungee jump
9) Take a train to Alaska/through the mountains
10) Kayak with the whales in Alaska
11) Audition for WICKED the musical
12) Stay with an Indian Tribe for a summer
13) Work in the Peace Corps for a year
14) Own my own palm tree!
15) Own a condo on the beach
16) Live in Florida
17) Spend a year in New York City
18) Go to New Years Eve in New York City to see the ball drop
19) Go to France to see my Great Grandpas grave from WWII
20) Bring my Grandma to France to see her dads grave
21) Bring my Grandma to Washington DC to see the WWII memorial
22) Stay at the Atlantis hotel in the bahamas
23) Find something no ones ever discovered before (I have this thing that I want to actually find Atlantis haha. Crazy, I know)
24) Go to the moon
25) Take a submarine and see the actual Titanic
26) Own a tiger...and a monkey ;)
27) Stop living paycheck to paycheck
28) Do voice over work for animation films
29) Be a photographer for a wedding
30) Learn how to play guitar
31) Have my own perfume
32) Buy a professional camera so I can start up photography
33) Audition for Disney - DONE (Chicago 2006 roughly)
34) Get a callback for a broadway musical or tour
35) Perform with Alisabeth Caraway - DONE (After our Rocky Horror production directed by her, closing night she did Thriller with us)
36) Sleep along the beach
37) Edit a "real" music video or come up with the concept at least
38) Make my own music video
39) Be in a famous parade
40) Walk a redcarpet
41) Be a model in Fashion Week - DONE (Though Id perfer New York Fashion Week, I was a runway model for Fashion Week Iowa in 2007 I think it was)
42) Be in a magazine
43) Meet Oprah & Tyra Banks
44) Sing with Rascal Flatts
45) Build and design my own house
46) Have a child
47) Be a godparent - DONE (My sister, McKenna Grace. 2008)
48) Have an amazingly cute proposal to where I cry ;)
49) Kiss in front of Cinderella's Castle at Disney
50) Swim with the dolphins
51) Be a marine life trainer
52) Feed a whale
53) Go deep sea fishing
54) Own a jetski
55) Go rock climbing up a mountain
56) Be a makeup artist on a movie set or real theatre profuction
57) Get my dad in a tux lol!
58) Shoot a gun - DONE (I live on a farm in small town Iowa, enough said)
59) Go hunting with my dad - DONE (Again, small town Iowa, when doesnt this happen)
60) Start my own charity
61) Dig for dino bones
62) Go on a REAL treasure hunt
63) Be on a talk show
64) Host Saturday Night Live-Or at least be in a skit on SNL
65) Ride in a cab
66) Ride the subway
67) Sing on the radio - DONE (Not an original song or anything which would be ideal, but when I sang the National Anthem at the Iowa Mens Basketball game on 11/08/09 I was featured on the radio before the game!!)
68) Sing somewhere famous
69) Sing on LIVE tv
70) Sing in a talent convention - DONE (Orlando, FL 2003)
71) Act in a talent convention
72) Be a promotional model - DONE (I work for Action! out of California)
73) Be a spokesmodel for a great cause
74) Write my own song and record it
75) Record a demo CD
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thinking=Bad
So Im still in that "mood" of mine I guess you could call it.
Slept in today hoping that would do some good but no, not so much. Grandma called me though and wanted to know if I wanted to head to Dubuque with her and Grandpa to go out to eat. Course Im not gunna turn that down. That kinda helped me. But now, Im back home, alone, sitting here...thinking...
Thinking is so bad for me lol
I think Im gunna head out with Nikki and Shelby for a little while, try and get some things off my mind, friends usually do the trick....until I come back home again that is....but we'll see what happens.
I dont have much else to say tonight other than that, Im being pretty lame and lazy right now.
xoxo
-M-
ps.Shitty Rocky Horror review eh?!?!
Slept in today hoping that would do some good but no, not so much. Grandma called me though and wanted to know if I wanted to head to Dubuque with her and Grandpa to go out to eat. Course Im not gunna turn that down. That kinda helped me. But now, Im back home, alone, sitting here...thinking...
Thinking is so bad for me lol
I think Im gunna head out with Nikki and Shelby for a little while, try and get some things off my mind, friends usually do the trick....until I come back home again that is....but we'll see what happens.
I dont have much else to say tonight other than that, Im being pretty lame and lazy right now.
xoxo
-M-
ps.Shitty Rocky Horror review eh?!?!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
"Chance favors the prepared mind" -Author Unknown
Hey guys...
This time no pictures, no video...just me...venting about some stuff.
Bare with me, this could potentially get long.
1st of all...ive been feeling lost lately. If youve been keeping tabs on me, youll know why. I just got done being in the production of Rocky Horror, and man was it an amazing experience...I havent done any acting since High School so it was sooo amazing to get back on that stage and perform. With that said though, it got me wanting more...it made me start thinking about my future. I know, I get in these moods a lot where all I think about is my future and what I want done with it, so maybe this is just one of those "phases"...but either way...lemme just say, I HATE BEING IN THIS HELL HOLE THEY CALL IOWA!!! I know thats a little harsh, but god damn, what id give to be in NYC right now doing what I absolutely love doing. What I would give to be in Florida performing at Disney.....people dont realize this passion I have....i mean they know i have it but they dont see the depth of it. I have this dream that in my mind will never come true because Iowas holding me back. Its not so easy to just get up and leave. I need the money for one....and thats my main reason I havent left here yet. Once I get my debts squared away I wanna leave this place, for good. But I fear itll be too late by then. I want to experience the world how I want to before I get older, before I get married, before I start a family....I want to do this stuff NOW!
I look at the people my age or even younger, who have made it so far in performing, who are now acting in broadway shows in NYC, or even directing their own shows...at freakin 20 years old!!! How amazing is that, and yet they have their whole life ahead of them to do something better. Then theres me...and people like me....who are stuck. Stuck between a hard place and a rock.
This just all depresses me. I know ive talked about this time and time again, but I cant stress it enough that I hate living in Iowa. Theres nothing for me here that makes me happy.....I mean granted, I was born and raised here, and the small town Iowa will always be a part of me, but I dont want to be stuck here the rest of my life wondering what if...what if i would have taken that chance at Disney 3 year ago, or the 2nd chance I had at disney 2 years ago....what if i would have moved right after HS graduation...what would have happened?!?!!!! I constantly already wonder what if and im only 21....I just want a break. I want a gig to happen, I know you have to work for what you want, but God, cut me some slack. I live on my own, pay everything my own, tried going to school, im in debt really bad...I cant make ends meet now, how will I make ends meet enough to get the hell out of this state and live the life I want to live?!
I guess you could just say Im in a bit of a "non-good mood" at the moment.
Thanks to those I vented to tonight though...Rob, Heather, Jameson...I <3 you all :) You put up with me venting about these things more than you have to.
Anyways, I should vent on more but I dont wanna make anyone mad at this point so Im just going to leave it at that.
Im gunna go watch "The Proposal" now and try and get things off my mind. Good luck with that, Megan. (Yes, now Im talking to myself ;) I have more problems than youll ever know ;) hehe!!!!)
P.S. I really like this quote
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.I don't believe in circumstances.The people who get on in this worldare the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want.And if they cant, they make them. -- George Bernard Shaw
This time no pictures, no video...just me...venting about some stuff.
Bare with me, this could potentially get long.
1st of all...ive been feeling lost lately. If youve been keeping tabs on me, youll know why. I just got done being in the production of Rocky Horror, and man was it an amazing experience...I havent done any acting since High School so it was sooo amazing to get back on that stage and perform. With that said though, it got me wanting more...it made me start thinking about my future. I know, I get in these moods a lot where all I think about is my future and what I want done with it, so maybe this is just one of those "phases"...but either way...lemme just say, I HATE BEING IN THIS HELL HOLE THEY CALL IOWA!!! I know thats a little harsh, but god damn, what id give to be in NYC right now doing what I absolutely love doing. What I would give to be in Florida performing at Disney.....people dont realize this passion I have....i mean they know i have it but they dont see the depth of it. I have this dream that in my mind will never come true because Iowas holding me back. Its not so easy to just get up and leave. I need the money for one....and thats my main reason I havent left here yet. Once I get my debts squared away I wanna leave this place, for good. But I fear itll be too late by then. I want to experience the world how I want to before I get older, before I get married, before I start a family....I want to do this stuff NOW!
I look at the people my age or even younger, who have made it so far in performing, who are now acting in broadway shows in NYC, or even directing their own shows...at freakin 20 years old!!! How amazing is that, and yet they have their whole life ahead of them to do something better. Then theres me...and people like me....who are stuck. Stuck between a hard place and a rock.
This just all depresses me. I know ive talked about this time and time again, but I cant stress it enough that I hate living in Iowa. Theres nothing for me here that makes me happy.....I mean granted, I was born and raised here, and the small town Iowa will always be a part of me, but I dont want to be stuck here the rest of my life wondering what if...what if i would have taken that chance at Disney 3 year ago, or the 2nd chance I had at disney 2 years ago....what if i would have moved right after HS graduation...what would have happened?!?!!!! I constantly already wonder what if and im only 21....I just want a break. I want a gig to happen, I know you have to work for what you want, but God, cut me some slack. I live on my own, pay everything my own, tried going to school, im in debt really bad...I cant make ends meet now, how will I make ends meet enough to get the hell out of this state and live the life I want to live?!
I guess you could just say Im in a bit of a "non-good mood" at the moment.
Thanks to those I vented to tonight though...Rob, Heather, Jameson...I <3 you all :) You put up with me venting about these things more than you have to.
Anyways, I should vent on more but I dont wanna make anyone mad at this point so Im just going to leave it at that.
Im gunna go watch "The Proposal" now and try and get things off my mind. Good luck with that, Megan. (Yes, now Im talking to myself ;) I have more problems than youll ever know ;) hehe!!!!)
P.S. I really like this quote
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.I don't believe in circumstances.The people who get on in this worldare the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want.And if they cant, they make them. -- George Bernard Shaw
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Heres what I was talking about in the last post
So I started writing a song awhile back and i just re-found it on my computer....and i decided i really like some of the lyrics...theres a story behind this 'song' or 'poem' or whatever it is...if youve ever heard the Taylor Swift song "change", it kinda is along the same lines. Taylor Swift wrote her song when she was trying to be successful in her dream, being a singer/songwriter. How she tried and tried but it never came, how she continuely got rejected, how everytime she tried so hard to get to the top she got knocked right back down. She gave up writing the song until the day she won her first big award. She then when home and continued to write the ending of the song, telling the people listening to the song, that this is what has happened, this is what i went through, and this is where im at now, look at me. Ive gotten a lot of inspiration from that song of hers and to this day I tear up hearing it because of how successfull she is and has become. Anyways, I was in Florida this past December, and for all of you who know me know im madly in love with Florida, and how its always been a dream of mine to get the heck out of Iowa and move to Florida where I can sing/perform at DisneyWorld. We were there this past december and the night before coming back to Iowa we stayed at this extremely nice hotel...our hotel was a suite so there was the actual bedroom where all 4 of us slept in, and then it had a living room area off of the bedroom. Mom, Scott, and Madison went to bed but of course I couldnt sleep, because everytime we leave to come back home from that amazing state, i get extremely moody. So I couldnt sleep, but I had my computer. No internet though, so what did I decide to do? Write. I had nothing to write about since I already wrote journal entries for every day that we had been in Florida, so I decided to turn my iPod on and try to revamp all my thoughts. The 1st song that came on was Taylor Swifts "Change", and thats what gave me inspiration. Like her song, I have this dream....a dream that seems way too hard to reach at times, but in the back of my head, for some weird reason, I feel its possible....now, unlike Taylor, I wrote the entire song even though Im not successful like her and I havent been through the crap she went through to get where she is....but besides all that, this song is powerful to me, as well as hers is to me. So Im going to share a little of it with you. Whether its a "song" or a "poem" or just my way of venting, id like some input. Im in no way a songwriter, and I never have claimed to be, I just like certain lyrics out of this.."whatever you wanna call it".. and I hold them dear to me when I think about my "future".....so bare with me and tell me what you think....theres two certain parts of this that I really like and Ive listed them below. I dont feel like putting the entire song down just because im not fully HAPPY with it....so just deal with what i like so far....thank you and goodnight
CHORUS 2
What if your life changed in front of you
What if you had the power to change
What if you got the choice to stay or leave
Would you do it or hesitate
The wonders of the world can only be seen
If you take that chance and never wonder what might have been
You can only wonder now
The tears keep comeing down
and wonder if theres still a chance to do..
do what?..if what?..what if....
.....AND......
ENDING
This time I seen the world like it could never be seen
I took the chance of lifetime,just like in my dreams
Its up to me now In wondering whats written in the text
I just know now..It's not what if...it's whats next...
Nip/Tuck
So Im really dissapointed that I cant watch my all time favorite show tonight :( I looked forward to being able to watch it now that Rocky rehearsals are all done....but noooo, Hopkinton's gotta be stupid and not have that channel. Im officially NOT happy!!! BOO!!!
--I had a weird dream last night. (imagine that, right?!) I dreamt that I moved to NYC....and when I woke up, I must say I was highly depressed to still in in Iowa. If you read my recent facebook note, thats probably why I dreamt it. Its just depressing being stuck in Iowa where you can't do anything that makes you happy. Everyone keeps telling me just MOVE but its not that easy. Im in a lot of debt that needs to be taken care of before I can even THINK about moving, especially to NYC. That city's not exactly a cheap city to live in. Im thinking about taking a trip sometime soon there though. I miss it extremely bad. Anyone want to venture with me? Start saving.....NYC's calling my name hardcore right now. --
--I had a weird dream last night. (imagine that, right?!) I dreamt that I moved to NYC....and when I woke up, I must say I was highly depressed to still in in Iowa. If you read my recent facebook note, thats probably why I dreamt it. Its just depressing being stuck in Iowa where you can't do anything that makes you happy. Everyone keeps telling me just MOVE but its not that easy. Im in a lot of debt that needs to be taken care of before I can even THINK about moving, especially to NYC. That city's not exactly a cheap city to live in. Im thinking about taking a trip sometime soon there though. I miss it extremely bad. Anyone want to venture with me? Start saving.....NYC's calling my name hardcore right now. --
In other news, Lexie posted on of the pics she took from our mini photoshoot during Rocky Horror.....it was extremely fun even though it was short and I cant wait to see the rest of the pictures!!! Here's the picture she posted so far.
I absolutely LOVE it!!!!! Im so excited to see the rest :) So props to Lexie :) Hehe!!!
I dont know much else to "rant" about tonight. Theres a lot on my mind but its all scrambled together so I don't even know where to start with it all and I dont wanna bore people too much.
=) xoxo Megan
You find out who your real friends are...
Something Id just like to "rant" about for a second, before I actually go to bed at this 3:30 am hour......
What the hell happened between us. Im not going to name any names, but I use to have this friend who I was EXTREMELY close with just recently tell me they didnt want to be friends any longer. For no aparent reason. We use to be really close, I considered him like a brother to me. He helped me through a lot of crap, and now, I go to talk to him, find out hes not on my facebook anymore, text him, no response, and then when he does finally answer, he doesnt even recognize my number anymore (meaning he deleted it) and then proceeds to ask me why the hell am I trying to talk to him? I dont understand!! I didnt do anything to him and the only reason he came up with was "because I have a girlfriend and i dont want to fuck that up"...which ok, understandable, but im not out there to screw up anything you have with anybody. I have a boyfriend, not like I defriended you, especially after what wed all been through in the past. He then preceeded to tell me to get out of his life, he no longer wanted to be friends with me and had no need to keep me in his life. I really dont understand....I really dont. Im not letting it get to me, because if thats how this person is going to be, so be it....but why me? Why did he stay friends with all my other friends but chose to kick me out of his life. I dont know what I did to deserve him doing this to me....I wish hed tell me so I at least had a clue...but he wont, hes being stupid. Im waiting for the day when he comes back telling me hes sorry, which sure whatever, but dont treat me like this when I did NOTHING wrong to you....I was never anything but geniune to you...and if its a crime that I miss you as a friend, then sue me....but whatever. Im leaving it alone. I dont need this in my life and I sure as hell dont want to deal with his stupid drama if this is how hes gunna be.
With all that said, I guess I would just like to thank all my real "friends" for sticking by me through thick and thin. You guys do mean a lot to me, even though right now im not fond of certain ones who told me theyd show up no matter what to the musical I was in, but then when the time came they decided to be MIA.....thanks guys, im glad I mean so much to you. But besides those people, thank you to those who did come and support us...or me in this case. Means a lot. I wanna thank my amazing boyfriend for one who came down from Milwaukee to see the musical. That by far meant the world to me. I love having that support because Ive never truely had it before. I love being a performer, and it makes the experience so much more rewarding when you know people in the audience so that you can perform your best for them and showcase your talents.
Anyways, Im done with this for tonight. I should go to bed.
What the hell happened between us. Im not going to name any names, but I use to have this friend who I was EXTREMELY close with just recently tell me they didnt want to be friends any longer. For no aparent reason. We use to be really close, I considered him like a brother to me. He helped me through a lot of crap, and now, I go to talk to him, find out hes not on my facebook anymore, text him, no response, and then when he does finally answer, he doesnt even recognize my number anymore (meaning he deleted it) and then proceeds to ask me why the hell am I trying to talk to him? I dont understand!! I didnt do anything to him and the only reason he came up with was "because I have a girlfriend and i dont want to fuck that up"...which ok, understandable, but im not out there to screw up anything you have with anybody. I have a boyfriend, not like I defriended you, especially after what wed all been through in the past. He then preceeded to tell me to get out of his life, he no longer wanted to be friends with me and had no need to keep me in his life. I really dont understand....I really dont. Im not letting it get to me, because if thats how this person is going to be, so be it....but why me? Why did he stay friends with all my other friends but chose to kick me out of his life. I dont know what I did to deserve him doing this to me....I wish hed tell me so I at least had a clue...but he wont, hes being stupid. Im waiting for the day when he comes back telling me hes sorry, which sure whatever, but dont treat me like this when I did NOTHING wrong to you....I was never anything but geniune to you...and if its a crime that I miss you as a friend, then sue me....but whatever. Im leaving it alone. I dont need this in my life and I sure as hell dont want to deal with his stupid drama if this is how hes gunna be.
With all that said, I guess I would just like to thank all my real "friends" for sticking by me through thick and thin. You guys do mean a lot to me, even though right now im not fond of certain ones who told me theyd show up no matter what to the musical I was in, but then when the time came they decided to be MIA.....thanks guys, im glad I mean so much to you. But besides those people, thank you to those who did come and support us...or me in this case. Means a lot. I wanna thank my amazing boyfriend for one who came down from Milwaukee to see the musical. That by far meant the world to me. I love having that support because Ive never truely had it before. I love being a performer, and it makes the experience so much more rewarding when you know people in the audience so that you can perform your best for them and showcase your talents.
Anyways, Im done with this for tonight. I should go to bed.
Surprise!!
Oh by the way, heres what I was most excited about during our Rocky Horror LIVE! Production!!! Its what I was bragging about the entire time of doing this show, how we had a "surprise" in store for everyone who came and watched the show. And if anyone knows our director, Alisabeth, you outta know she cant pull of a show without something like this in the end ;) If you like Michael Jackson, Id advise watching this ;)
My life for the past month...has consisted of Rocky Horror.....scary isnt it?!
Hey guys...so heres my first real OFFICIAL blogging experiment, Im going to try and write in here as much as possible to keep people updated. Some of you asked for this, so here ya go :)
My life for the past month has consisted of Rocky Horror (like the title says, obviously!). We auditioned the show, choreographed, blocked, rehearsed, staged, and perfor
med the entire thing in ONE MONTH!!! It was one CRAZY and wild experience but id expect nothing less beings it IS Rocky Horror ;) But none the less, it was an AMAZING experience and one Ill cherish for the rest of my life. I worked with some AMAZING people, and will never forget any of you. I already miss you guys like something fierce :( It was fun while it lasted but all good things but come to an end unfortunatly. I look forward to our "Rocky Reunions" ;)!!! For those of you who have no idea what Im talking about, I was part of the Rocky Horror Show LIVE! in Cedar Rapids, IA. And within this blog I will be posting a few pictures from it. It was one HELL of a ride, but a fun one at that. I miss it terribly. What can I say...I live for this stuff...and wishes it would never end.
My life for the past month has consisted of Rocky Horror (like the title says, obviously!). We auditioned the show, choreographed, blocked, rehearsed, staged, and perfor
med the entire thing in ONE MONTH!!! It was one CRAZY and wild experience but id expect nothing less beings it IS Rocky Horror ;) But none the less, it was an AMAZING experience and one Ill cherish for the rest of my life. I worked with some AMAZING people, and will never forget any of you. I already miss you guys like something fierce :( It was fun while it lasted but all good things but come to an end unfortunatly. I look forward to our "Rocky Reunions" ;)!!! For those of you who have no idea what Im talking about, I was part of the Rocky Horror Show LIVE! in Cedar Rapids, IA. And within this blog I will be posting a few pictures from it. It was one HELL of a ride, but a fun one at that. I miss it terribly. What can I say...I live for this stuff...and wishes it would never end.
In other news, I sang the National Anthem at a Univeristy Of Iowa Swim Meet this past month which was by far one of the coolest things Ive done in a long time, and I got news that Im singing at a University Of Iowa Mens AND Womens Basketball game as well, so im way stoked for that to happen. And actually the Mens basketball game that I am singing at is THIS weekend so im really excited!! Kinda nervous because its obviously at Carver Hawkeye Arena and Ive never sang in anywhere that big so I hope it goes ok!!! I actually really REALLY hope they let me do a sound check before hand just because its that big and because Im not sure how easy it will be to hear myself in there. Lets just hope it goes well.
hello blogspot, my name is Megan
So Im new to this whole "blog spot" thing, but I thought Id try it out since people never like me posting anything personal on facebook or myspace anymore...and twitter, unfortunatly you can only post like 160 characters at once so that would get hard to vent on....
Anyways, Im in a writing mood and since im basically not allowed to vent on facebook anymore im going to do it this way. Take it for what it is, read it if you want...only one rule....if you dont like what i have to say, please dont read it or at least dont judge me based on it, and yell at me through here. This is a venting place for me so let me get things off my chest. with that all said, hello blogspot, my name is Megan, nice to meet you =)
Anyways, Im in a writing mood and since im basically not allowed to vent on facebook anymore im going to do it this way. Take it for what it is, read it if you want...only one rule....if you dont like what i have to say, please dont read it or at least dont judge me based on it, and yell at me through here. This is a venting place for me so let me get things off my chest. with that all said, hello blogspot, my name is Megan, nice to meet you =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)