So Im even more in this "mood" ive been in for the last couple of days. This whole getting out of Iowa thing, doing what I am suppose to be doing in life. I was looking at more apartments tonight, ones in Florida. Found some promising ones that arent much money at all....I have a couple people whod like to move down there with me, so if I get the right people, and the right amount of people I think I can seriously make do.
My mom and I were looking at auditions for Disney last night and I found out theyre still doing auditions there every thursday which is promising because theyre all open auditions. And in the mean time of trying to get a job there I can always try and get a "normal" job somewhere down there.
Ive decided it is now my goal to be down in Florida by this coming summer. Im going to try and save from the little paychecks I already get and see what happens. Maybe try and get some auditions and interviews set up in the meantime so by the time I get down there I can already have something.
Besides all that..I went to my bestfriends ultrasound with her mom and her today. Shes having a boy :) And to be honest, Im quite excited for her :) After the ultrasound we went out to eat at Carlos O Kellys and then went baby shopping for a little bit.
Found out a couple things today that pretty much upset me, but im trying my best NOT to let it bother me. Its one of those things where no matter what I do, I cant seem to please people. And yes, I know...thats life. But all I do is be myself and that never seems to be good enough. Someones always mad at me, someone always dislikes me..and it seems like they always hate me for the sole reason OF being myself....doesnt seem quite right does it? I dont get it either....but what can you do I guess. People either like you or they dont. Theyre entitiled to their opinion on me, and I honestly dont usually care. But I need to kind of care at this point because its people Im going to be dealing with for the rest of my life :/.....so its not making things easy on me right now. I really just hate when people do this to people...they hate how you are but yet your doing nothing wrong, your not being anyone but YOURSELF...and for that they should be proud.
I got pretty much bashed on todaay because of the fact that I have tattoos and piercings. Let me tell you something, this is therapy for me. Sure, I have a lot, but its who I am...its what I like...and if that is a crime then I am sorry...you either take me how I am or dont take me at all, because im not changing who I am to satisfy YOU....I also got pretty bashed on today because of the fact that Im not in school anymore. Let me tell you all something. There is a difference in "dropping out" of school and taking time off. I did not drop out, im not that type of person. I finished my 2 years at a community college. Thats exactly what I intended to do. I was never for SURE what I wanted to do as a career and Im still not SURE on what I want. I have options, but theres a lot of them, and I sure as hell am not going to continue to pay money for something im not 100% sure in. Id like to do a lot of things one day, but I cant pay to go to school for all of them. That and not having any money right now to begin with is kinda putting a damper on any kind of schooling I want to do. So, therefor, I personally do not think there is anything wrong with taking time off from school to figure out what you want in life. I understand it makes me look bad, I really do. To be honest, it sucks and I hate the way it MAKES me look, but I cant really do anything about it right now. Im in the process of working towards something I REALLY want in life, but until then you have to give me time. Stuff just doesnt HAPPEN at the snap of a finger....Im trying my best to get where I personally want to be, and if you hate me for that then for that I am truely sorry. Its my fault that Im trying my best to get to where I want to be, Its my fault that I have this dream, and its my fault that im this "low life" right now. I just think its wrong to dislike people for this reason....Im doing what I can right now, what more do you want. Just PLEASE dont hate me for that reason...its wrong and plain stupid. All of what I just said...this does not make me a bad person...so Id really like it if people would stop thinking that.
Anyways, that was my RANT for the day...I could go on and on but I dont feel like bugging anymore of you by it. So with that note, Im going to try to fix my internet and then get some sleep. Much love
-M-
No comments:
Post a Comment