Ok maybe that title isnt the best logic, but I watched Dickie Roberts Childhood Star last night and it was a line in that movie lol...
Anyways, heres my sick self, trying to explain a few things to you guys.
First of all, thank you for the continued support from each and every one of you. Its meant a lot over this past year. (Yes, believe it or not, I started tweeting not even a year ago...) You guys mean a lot to me and I continue to use you guys as a "go-to" so to speak. I love you all.
With all that said, a bunch of you have been asking how my auditions went last week. They went amazing, despite the fact I was hacking out a lung while auditioning. Basically what had happened was the week before the auditions, there was a movie role open, a lead role, because the lead actress quit the day before they were going to start shooting the movie. The person doing all the makeup for the movie asked me if Id be up for it and the producer was highly interested in me. I couldnt do it that weekend unfortunatly, so I was extremely down about it. Butttttt.....then I get a call saying that same producer will be in my town the week later holding auditions for another movie, a movie in which would be my dream role no joke. Well I went to the audition, unfortunatly couldnt sing even though I was suppose to because the lead for that movie is a singer.....yay for being sick right? Well, went to the audition, and he had me read for the new movie "Warm Up" as well as the other movie in which they originally wanted me for where the lead actress quit, movie was called "QTpie". Soooooo I cold read the script for QTpie and read for Warm Up as well. I was instantly offered the lead in QTpie....amazing right? I was actually quite stoked...and I still feel quite honored. I was given a few days to think it over and get back to him. Theyre not done casting for Warm Up yet so though he said hed deff keep me in mind as a lead for Warm Up, theyre not fully finished with everything there so Im kind of keeping my fingers crossed. Here was the issues....
Issue number 1. The movies overlap. Meaning both movies are being filmed roughly at the same time. If I was given both leads, thatd be EXTREMELY hectic on me. Ive never done movies yet so I dont have that "comfort" zone so to speak for one movie let alone two, and going on at the same time. Plus, I wouldn't be able to work my normal job anymore and that would kill me because of the bills I have.
More issues....QTpie is an extremely dark, depressed, sad, emotional role. Like I said before Ive never done movies or film work, let alone anything emotional, so for me to pull this off would be extremely hard. I dont feel talent-wise Im ready for something as serious yet, as to where Warm Up is more in my element. Singing, performing onstage, being in a recording studio, etc. I know QTpie would have helped me grow soooooo much as an actress but I feel if I had more film experience I would hvae been better suited for it. Is this making sense? I have nerves in this being my first movie role, I dont want anything else to be nervous about, like crying on screen, the dark emotional scenes, the racy scenes, etc. Im not fully comfortable with all of that right now....though the movie itself has an outstanding script and tells one hell of a story. Actually, its a true story based on someone here in Iowa, which brings up another reason I was kinda scared to do it. If Im going to do a film based on a true story, Id want to do it justice and not just half-ass it. And I dont think I can do that at my career level right now. I need more experience I think. I know I sound like Im really shutting myself down now, but I feel its for the best. Id love to have taken this role up in a heartbeat and anyone else probably would have but I feel things happen for a reason. It made me open my eyes to everything at least. Now Im just praying Im still in the running for the lead of Warm Up....but hey, if not, I learned a lot from all this. You can't just take everything thrown at you no matter how amazing it seems or is. Some things you just have to bow down and say no to no matter how bad you really would have loved to take it.
I hope this all makes sense, its kinda mumbo-jumbled all together.
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