What is bothering me.... (yet another venting session)

What is bothering me....

1) I have no money....every ounce of every paycheck goes to bills....I barely have money for gas to get to work. A 2nd job would be great but I'll admit it, I don't do well without time to myself, so a 2nd job and me really don't mix. I know, horrible to say but Im just being honest. I love LOVE my job right now but it sucks to drive to everyday when its 45 minutes away. I could get an apartment there but that would be using more money every month that I don't have. Right now I have way too many bills, and Im getting behind on way too many of my loans......so moral of the story, is my credit is fucked for life and I still have no money

2) I feel highly guilty about something right now even though Im not sure that I should feel this way. I feel like I took something away from someone that they'll never get back, and though I know it wasn't all ME, it feels like it right now, and it's been stressing me out lately HARDCORE. Im not easy to please I guess, if it's not one thing it's another, if it's not one way, the other way will probably hurt too....

3) Im highly unmotivated. I hate this feeling but I get this way a lot. Yes, Im a lazy piece of shit, Ill give that to you, I wish I could do more, but stress/emotions/depression, it's all there and never allows me to be me, 'nuff said.

4) Im anxious for certain things to happen right now. Certain things that I cant get in to on here, but I feel like they won't happen. Its hard to explain without getting in to detail and in order to tell you, id have to kill you, so Im just gunna leave it at that........................

5) I miss him. I miss him HORRIBLY. Hes 4 hours away and when I need him he can't be here and when he needs me, I can't be there for him.......It really sucks. This again goes along with having no money......

6) I want my own place. Im tired of living under someone's roof. Its easy, I admit, I love it here, but I feel sheltered and Im not a person who handles that very well. I just can't afford anything right now.

7) I need to get famous, fast. Its my dream obviously...i just continue to feel like im losing it, day by day...minute by minute. I feel it all always slipping away....what to do? I dont know, again I have no money to persue anything or move anywhere to start something

8) I want to go back to school...I really do...BUT there's too many things I WANT to do and hmm...you guessed it...no moneeyyyyyy. ugh.....

I guess they all kinda tie in with no money don't they? Anyway, thats all I wanted to vent about I think.
Im just highly stressed right now, and I probably shouldn't be...BUT i am.
End.Of.Story.
Megan